I've Forgot My Name

The ramblings and drug fueled adventures of everyones favourite Homeless Guy and his dog Rover.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

@Krughead not yet lad, not yet.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Got a new iPhone, doesn't have a hot meal app and I'm fucking pissed off.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Can you milk a dog?

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Hashtags are shit #3words

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Someone fuck me #3words

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Someone feed me #3words

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Today I have mostly been eating Woodlouse, you can fry them on a bin lid and they crack open like pop corn.. Taste like fucking shit though.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

@russparkin I gave Bill Gates a blowsuckoff job, now let that be the end of it.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Need more whiskey for Dutch courage.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Gonna head over to Trafalgar Square, slay all of the lions with an old umbrella and a bin lid, then rescue Nelson Mandela from that Tower...

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Just saw a furry dolphin having a right go at this traffic warden.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Drinking Toilet duck now, whiskey just ain't doing it anymore.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Took a shit in a photo booth outside Tesco's, thought it was a fancy toilet, left it a bit of a mess, photos came out nice though.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Looking at the bus again now it does look alot like a Ford Focus. More drink please.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Just asked this bus driver if he thought it was Dracula, "GET OUT YOURE SCARING MY SON" he screamed, turned round and I was in some guys car

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

I think I just saw Count Dracula but It could have just been a crow, I'm not sure, I've taken alot of whiskey today.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

The whole situation was pretty funny, I'm sure she'll laugh about it when she gets home...

From the hospital.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

None of the security would come near me though because by that point I was waving the poo around infront of the till girls terrified face..

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

Done a shit in a Branstons Baked Bean tin, took it back to the shop and tried to get a refund "Theres poo in my beans" I said.. Didn't work.

[I've Forgot My Name @TheHomelessGuy]

@mlrsmike @cocaine_dealer EVERYONE FOLLOW HER!! Do I count as a crack whore?