BREAKING NEWS: David Monreal is reportedly locked in on the 49ers defense this year. It may have something to do with his love for Richard Sherman. Rival executives say “they will not be surprised” if he takes the defense as early as the first round.
BREAKING NEWS: There are sources stating that sean hart has locked himself into a room without his scouts and advisors and is basically not telling anyone who he might pick. The latest speculation: Drew Brees. Could this be smoke to scare Tyler Dean?
BREAKING NEWS: Gehrig Zukowski has reached a deal with sponsor S&G Plumbing. It reportedly a lifetime deal that includes unlimited plungers and pants that show plumbers cracks. It is upwards of 20 money. The retaining champ will get a chance to defend his title
Which rivalry are you most excited to see this upcoming season ? Dean week, The clogger of toilets vs the unclogger, the battle of the dad bods, or the pitcher only vs the position player.
BREAKING NEWS: Coach Gehrig Zukowski is holding out for a new contract with his sponsor S&G plumbing. He believes after such a dominant performance he should be compensated so that he can buy a new bench, and more ham. No word on when this will end.
BREAKING NEWS: Sources say Tyler Dean is asking around the top of the draft to try to trade up to draft Drew Brees. It is unknown if the offers are too much. Although Brees is not highly rated on other boards, According to one source Dean will not draft any other QB
And finally the first pick belongs to Sean “Ghost” Hart. He is the sean McVay of the league but has never won it all. He is sponsored by Just for Men and has the best dog in the league. He enjoys drinking monster while riding his dirt bike with his friend Kyle
The 2nd pick belongs to David Monreal. David has never won but has been a competitor every year. He is known for choking in the playoffs but drafting really well. David will draft any defense with Richard Sherman on it and he has the biggest legs in the league. #legday
The 3rd pick belongs to Dillon Brady. Dillon’s team is rich with history as they were the inaugural winners of the LOEG. He is known for not getting carded at bars and was voted most likely to look like Jason Bean. He always wears jeans and is the best looking in the league.
The 4th pick in the draft belongs to Matt Doyle. Doyle is 7 4 375 pounds of pure dad bod. As the father of the league he is known for wearing white tank tops and crocs while reading his morning paper. He is known for drafting the whole Patriots team and for one biting everything
The 5th pick belongs to Gehrig Zukowski. He is 5 7 155 pounds. He is a 3rd year coach. He is known for providing ham and edamame soup dinners at coach award nights.
He is an absolute nightmare with the plunger. Owner of chest in your face security
Current reigning EGL champion.
The 6th pick belongs to the commissioner Levi Michaelis. Levi is a one time champion, and has made the league profitable. He is known for sucking at drafting his team and whining about sports on Twitter. He enjoys watching Rickie Fowler lose and being every girls best friend.
The 7th pick in the draft belongs to Noah Yeingst. Weighing in at 180 pounds Noah has had an up and down career. He is known for screwing everyone over with a Deangelo Williams “waiver claim”. He loves long walks on the beach that end with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
The 8th pick in the draft belongs to Logan Borges. He is the only two time champion winning back to back titles. He has been known to trading his whole team and was voted most interesting man in the league. He has been suspended once for unsportsmanlike conduct.
The 9th pick belongs to Tyler Dean. Dean is 5 11 175 pounds of chest. He has never won since the merger but is known for saying “I always make playoffs”. He always drafts kickers and defenses early and usually lets his dad draft his team for him.