Luke Swift

Follower & Lover of Jesus Christ... do you know Him?
Storyteller/Filmmaker | Writer/Director
@49ers Faithful
A Lover and a Fighter

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

Most food from @McDonalds doesn’t spoil. So, if we are what we eat and we eat a lot of McDonald’s, does that mean we’ll live forever?

#QuestionOfTheDay

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

The CIRCLE OF LIFE has made a full revolution. I'm buying my DAD socks for Christmas. Oh, how the world turns...

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

@heids124 @dsemsen Beyond, beyond, epic.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time. #humor

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

Without me, it's just aweso.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. #humor

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

What do atheists do when they drive behind a car with a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker and that car doesn't move at a green light?

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

Don't let your mind wander. It is too little to be left alone.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

There are two kinds of people: Those who finish what they start and ...

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport. #humor

[Luke Swift @TheLukeSwift]

The problem with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.