May McDonough

Film composer. Quantum physicist. Freelance phlebotomist.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Carrot Top died in my dream last night. Everyone was really sad about it.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Hey @joerogan this is the #Washingtonpost chart you showed @BernieSanders . You missed the tail of the chart which represents the last 20k years. Getting hotter. #climatechange

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

All of America is literally any #BillHader meme today.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

How do @elonmusk and @realDonaldTrump not realize they're just telling on themselves? Boys, boys... you both knew these truths months ago and you didn't care because you were colluding. But go on.. keep confirming liberal talking points. #passthepopcorn

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

For all the science in the world, no one is ever going to convince me that external testicles is a biological imperative. I mean... your just dangling two aquariums in the swamp man. Not a winning strategy.
#testes #wtf #balls

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Timothee Chalamet is what happened when Tim Burton wished on a star to make his drawing a real boy.
#DunePart2 #dune

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

My husband just said "...and that's why we have Wales and seals." And I'll be honest. I've been tuning him out for like 45 minutes. No fucking clue what I just missed but I'm sure it was epic.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Man slime is really having a moment right now.
#getitgirl

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Girl... I must be the James Web telescope because I just caught a picture of uranis.
#jamesweb #pickuplines #scienceisreal

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

@ask_aubry Dear god.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Be honest though. We all thought Topher Grace was gonna turn out to be the asshole right? Right?
#that70sshow

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Y'all I'm tired of these privileged children gatekeeping the transcendent pendular marvel that is the swing set.
#adultswingsetsplease #DoBetterKids

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

This Uber driver is not old enough to be blasting the chili peppers with this much enthusiasm...

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

We were all so afraid A. I. would annihalate the human race... Turns out they just want to work in Hollywood.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Sir, I'm making a tampon run at Albertsons at 9pm. Do I look like I'm in the mood to help climate change?

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

@zcregger You talking #BeneathUs ?

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

I'm the last generation that remembers a time qhen we were trying NOT to brand ourselves. Which is to say that I am broke and unsuccessful.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

@SamBrown42069 I've been seeing gen z youtubers pronounce it beTHoven like THick or THerepy. And I feel like this is a super lazy attempt at making me feel old and out of touch.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Chris Rock should know better than to make fun of alopecia, which is a very serious disease in which you become less and less capable of taking a joke. #TheSlappening

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

@megancomposer This guy sounds like a real genius.

[May McDonough @TheMayCompany]

Just got home from the belated 2020 award ceremony for the LAAF Awards. Shoutout to @hitRECordJoe @HITRECORD for giving me the space years ago to start this project. Now it's a feature screenplay!