People don’t realize that you can actually push someone so far that they no longer want anything to do with you anymore. This applies to friendships, relationships, or even family. Sometimes, people assume that because you love them, whether as a friend, partner, or family member you will continue to tolerate anything, disrespect, neglect, hurtful actions , lack of effort, or emotional stress.
Everyone has limits, and there is only so much one person can take before they choose peace over connection.
Even the most patient, kind-hearted person can reach their breaking point. When someone continuously feels unappreciated, misunderstood, or mistreated, they can reach a place where they emotionally disconnect. And once someone emotionally disconnects, it is very hard to repair that relationship.
please be kind. don’t be the reason someone doesn’t want to socialize, hates waking up, or feels left out. your words and actions stick with people forever
People always say, “you deserve better.” But sometimes… it’s not even about wanting someone new. Sometimes, you just wanted that person to do better. You weren’t asking for perfection. You weren’t asking for anything unrealistic. You just wanted effort. To feel like you mattered enough for them to try. Enough for them to care about the things that hurt you. You weren’t looking to replace them. You were hoping they’d grow with you. That they’d listen instead of dismissing you. That they’d notice the distance forming… and care enough to fix it. Not because you forced it— but because they didn’t want to lose you. You didn’t want to change who they were. You just wanted them to want to be better for the relationship. To protect what you both had. To fight for it the same way you were. But instead… they let it fall apart. And that’s the part that stays with people. Not because they needed someone “better”… but because they believed that person could be better— and they were willing to stay long enough to see it. And sometimes… that’s what makes it hurt the most. Because they didn’t want someone else. They just wanted the person they loved to show up differently.
Normalize creating distance when you know someone's been speaking negatively about you. Family. In-laws. Cousins. Friends. Anybody. It doesn't matter. You don't have to keep showing up with a smile just to "keep the peace" while someone is comfortable disrespecting you behind closed doors. Boundaries aren't rude, they're necessary. If someone chose to speak on you, let them stand on it. You're not obligated to be extra cordial to people who haven't been genuine with you.
“Can I bring my baby to the interview?”
The message came in at 11 PM:
“Hi, I have an interview with you tomorrow at 2 PM. My childcare fell through. Can I bring my 8-month-old? I understand if you need to reschedule.”
Old me would have rescheduled.
Unprofessional. Distraction. Red flag.
New me replied:
“Absolutely. See you tomorrow.”
She showed up with her baby on her hip.
She apologized three times before even sitting down.
Ten minutes in, the baby started crying.
She tried to soothe him while answering questions.
She apologized again.
I stopped the interview and said:
“Hey. You’re managing a fussy baby, answering complex questions, and staying calm under pressure. That’s literally the job. Handling chaos while staying professional. You’re already proving you can do it.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
We hired her.
She’s been with us for a year now.
The most reliable team member we have.
Why?
Because when you’re used to handling a screaming infant at 3 AM and still showing up to work the next day, workplace stress feels like nothing.
Working parents, especially mothers, are some of the most organized, efficient, and resilient people you’ll ever hire.
Yet we lose them because our hiring processes are built for people with zero caregiving responsibilities.
If your interview process can’t accommodate a parent facing a childcare issue, you’re not filtering for professionalism.
You’re filtering for privilege.
i watched a guy buy flowers today. When the cashier
asked, "Anniversary?" He smiled and said "No, she's just having a rough day." That's the kind of love I'm hoping to find.