Sal G

❤

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

If rumours are to be believed I'll be living with a seventh different Prime Minister shortly. If it carries on like this I'm going to stop making the effort to learn their names.

[Mr PitBull Stories @MrPitbull07]

The other night I was invited out for a night with the
"girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9
cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit" Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@MWCravenUK Spiders.....and....drinking a glass of milk 🤮🤮 fills me absolute horror!!!! I'm a weirdo 🤪 😂

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@susie_dent @fionamsharp

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘kuchisabishii’, from Japanese: boredom eating, or the making of frequent visits to the fridge in the hope of finding something new to munch on.

Its literal translation is ‘lonely mouth’.

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@TheVampsband @izzieg6 💙

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@revkatebottley
This is my awesome brother Colin. 💙 He is a HUGE fan of you and Songs of Praise but has his own version of English and insists your name is Katie Broccoli 🥦 hope this makes you smile as much as you make Colin smile 😃

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@fionamsharp @PushkinPress @PushkinVertigo @MarttaKaukonen Love the cover

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@izzieg6 9am start 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[Sheila Hancock News @4SheilaHancock]

CCTV suggests this necklace w. the 4 wedding rings was lost round Haymarket W1. The Police no longer deal with lost items so even if someone went to hand it in there is no central system to find it. She is desperate to have this personal treasure back. Please RT #reward #lost

[Sheila Hancock News @4SheilaHancock]

Sheila is heartbroken to lose her most treasured possession- a gold chain holding 4 wedding rings; from her parents & her 2 marriages to Alec & John. Believe lost in central London. PLEASE RT in case anyone finds it. She is absolutely desperate for its return. Reward offered.

[★ Izzie ★ @izzieg6]

it’s meeee

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@izzieg6 Can't wait 😍🥳😊

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@TheVampsband @arxxband @RoyalAlbertHall @izzieg6

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@susie_dent @izzieg6

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@susie_dent Tickled pink

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

https://t.co/4OSozPGSkc

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@Lecosanne Whole lot happier Lecosanne with a much bigger smile 😃 only coz we know you xx

[Legion @legionsupps]

It's ironic to watch overmuscled people who abuse anabolic drugs to get bigger biceps lecture fat people about the dangers of obesity.

[Sal G @TheMummyG]

@izzieg6