Hi Twitter. This is my dad. He planted a few Christmas trees in his garden 10 years ago and this is the first one he gets to use!! It’s a bit big and a little wonky, but he’s super proud of it 😊🎄
I know you guys don’t want to hear this but the weezer version of Africa sucks so hard. it brings nothing to the table. the original is far, far better and you’re uncultured if you disagree
I just saw a man pick up and carry 2 (TWO) golden retrievers. Large ones. One on each shoulder. He was saying, “You always do this. You SAID you wanted to go for a walk!” as he picked them up.
best thing about being back at the family home is knowing I can walk around bare foot without the fear of standing on a coco pop or a soggy undetermined vegetable
a man in whole foods asked how i was doing and i said ok how are you and he said “it is beautiful in my soul today” and that’s why i never go to whole foods