Pete Bateman

It's that guy!

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

All my utility #bills are going up today? Nice #AprilFools - you got me

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

@LoknStore How about a Hop'nStore?

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

It's been a while twitter but I couldn't help notice an email stating my tweet has been removed. A little slow with that #takedown but got there in the end! P.S. I played a video with the tune #Afirca by #Toto a year ago.

[David Firth (Salad Fingers) @DAVID_FIRTH]

New Salad Fingers in 6 days.

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

This video I made was banned by Instagram in minutes. All I wanted to do is post a video about the rain... let's see how Twitter fairs! #RaininEngland

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

Wow. EE your live chat is terrible...

(in short)

Me: I've sent my phone to Samsung to repair and they need proof of purchase, can you supply this?

EE: What's the claim for?

Me: A pink line down the screen.

EE: Try resetting the phone

Me: I can't, I've sent it to Samsung.

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

I just experienced the most #English thing in a long time - someone apologising for going round a corner on a path. It's not even that we bumped in to eachother - there was a good 3 meter clearance.

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

There's nothing childish about a bear with big blue balls holding your toothbrush. It was bought purely for practicality.

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

Is Microsoft hiding their competition? Thunderbird (the email manager) disappeared from my toolbar and can't be found in the start menu yet it's still installed on my PC... Very weird, is this a bug or intentional?

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

Man, that's deep. Is life real?

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

I love how people are openly admitting they're partly deaf when they say 'it's #Laurel' There's a good chance that it's because you can't hear high frequencies (among other reasons).

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

This train has seen something #disturbing

[Derren Brown @DerrenBrown]

I’ve been a fan of @josephsmachines for a while - he makes extraordinary Rube Goldberg machines with a level of wit that elevates them beyond any I’ve seen before:

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

Don't you walk all over me! Just because I identify as a paving slab. #politicallycorrect

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

@themorganator_4 Lol Google is trolling me

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

"Best Windows ever", my arse... It crashed once on the installation and the start up screen has completely frozen too. I'm missing Windows 7 already #Windows10 sucks

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

@themorganator_4 My PC now doesn't go to sleep. There's something almost ironic about that... #insomnia #yesImgoingtotagthis

[Justin Foulkes @justinfoulkes]

If anything sums up #Brexit - it's the Daily Express making my pic of Britain look whiter than it actually is.

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

You ever woken up so tired that you poured breakfast cereal in to your tea? Yep, this tea isn't going to be great.

[Pete Bateman @ThePeteBateman]

There's one thing that really winds me up at work - customers who leave things in front of the fire exit. I'd imagine they'd be the first to complain if they were on fire and couldn't get out. There are a lot of frail or handicapped people who couldn't move this in an emergency.