Dee Saltz

Welcome to the good life.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

Dear future me, the answer to “Should I pee?” is always yes.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

I really thought I was doing something with my iPod video

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

A bird on the ground is a rat until proven otherwise.

[gifs @RAMONASWlNGER]

You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful dorter

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

When you want your pet to leave the room, but you feel guilty, so you just annoy the shit out of them so it seems like it was their decision.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

@Katparty666 I thought it was a jet ski accident

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

That special kind of polite driving you do when you get close to a function just in case you’re accidentally tailgating your friend’s aunt.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

When did everyone start describing clothes as “buttery soft”?

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

Just like cash and your Venmo balance, EZ Pass money is not real.

[Betches News @Betches_News]

People in the Northeast working their little 9-5s today

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

@Katparty666 I will be your Sherpa.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

@Katparty666 Bro brain 🤝

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

I could never be a truck driver because I’d be too self conscious about everyone always trying to go around me.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

If there’s one thing I’m gonna do it’s buy a niche seasoning blend at Trader Joe’s and never use it.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

When I’m sick, my nightstand becomes it’s own ecosystem.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

When a baguette is sticking out of my shopping bag, I am an actress.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

Unpopular opinion: when a bunch of different types of cookies get mixed together in a box…they don’t taste right 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

@Keithero Tysm for returning to Twitter to drop this wisdom.

[Dee Saltz @TheRealDStunna]

Why is it that no matter how many streaming services I pay for, whenever there’s something I specifically want to watch, it’s nowhere?