Em Elizabeth

F | 20

[Em Elizabeth @TheRealEm98]

@ActuallyNPH Do you ever read tweets anymore or have you stopped entirely?

[Jerry Lawler @JerryLawler]

I must admit I was fanboying yesterday morning flying to Toronto. Sitting across from me were two of my favorite actors, Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara! The Dad from American Pie movies and the Mom from Home Alone! How cool!

[Wolf Conservation Center 🐺 @nywolforg]

BREAKING: the Trump administration just finalized regulations to eviscerate the Endangered Species Act-- our most effective law for protecting wildlife in danger of extinction. RT if you are outraged by the #TrumpExtinctionPlan. @SecBernhardt #StopExtinction

[Wolf Conservation Center 🐺 @nywolforg]

BREAKING
The federal govt just finalized regulations to eviscerate the Endangered Species Act-- our most effective law for protecting wildlife in danger of extinction. #StopExtinction https://t.co/CdtHT6eWjr

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

I wonder if cartoon characters know that whatever outfit they wear in the 1st episode will be the only outfit they wear for eternity.

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

food in the microwave

[Wolf Conservation Center 🐺 @nywolforg]

Your moment of zen. Wolf pup hiccups.🐺

[john is toast @johnistoasted]

Guy: can I borrow ur charger

Me: I’m using it

Guy: what are u at

Me: 82%

Guy: well I’m at 5%

Me: oh man well I hope u find a charger

[Wolf Conservation Center 🐺 @nywolforg]

We just finished the health check for the 12-week-old Mexican gray wolf pups. Check out the video on the Wolf Conservation Center Facebook page! https://t.co/74FMK0OCZk

[m@thew @TweetPotato314]

wife: I’m leaving you

me: [stuck in a water slide] good idea go get help

[Em Elizabeth @TheRealEm98]

“Well this sucks.” #UnlikelyFirstWordsOnTheMoon

[Carolyn B. Maloney @RepMaloney]

So... we’re not allowed to call the President a racist but he’s allowed to BE one?

[Jonas Brothers @jonasbrothers]

When you take a trip to the Year 3000.

[jakey bake @parttimewinner]

@jazz_inmypants here’s a pic of me excited about my midnight salad

[Em Elizabeth @TheRealEm98]

@jazz_inmypants

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

WIFE: I’m starting to think my husband has lied about his profession.

WIFES FRIEND: Why?

[I walk through the door and hang up my McDonald’s visor]

ME: Hey honey I’m back from the lawyer factory.

[Rockin’ Bubbles “Can’t Tweet That” Rialto🐈🌻 @PippiTheCat1]

@radionz

[Dave Thomas @TheDaveThomas]

@robreiner Don't overlook the whole package - racist, yes. Also misogynist, narcissist, liar, buffoon, sex offender, and criminal - each of these well-documented in media reports during his Mad Hatter Presidency.