jakey bake

some of this is real | he/him/y’all

[jakey bake @parttimewinner]

scientists are gaslighting snails

[dylan @dylangonzalez21]

“55 points 55 rebounds 55 blocks 55 assists 55 steals”

[Milk Ape 🦍 @milk__ape]

one time ape watch giant boulder completely flatten monkey at base of cliff side. No blood no sound instant death

[Good Work @goodworkmb]

Palantir office speedrun

[Anti-Jungian Aktion @Carboniferoys]

It must feel good as hell to just be able to ban a specific annoying media trend as a middle level bureaucrat.

[rune sword @runesword1]

explosion at the health potion factory, 0 dead, 0 injured

[david ehrlich @davidehrlich]

every time I think I’m done with this whole thing I’m introduced to a word like “goblinchad” and I instantly start idiotmaxxing all over again

[Solzhenixon @sardonic_greek]

Red Camry. Move out of the passing lane within 20 seconds or be fired upon.

[Mrs Too Damn Media Literate @bobo_circus]

fascinated by this new addition to the canon. is he trying to get revenge for Clavicular's framemogging? is he seeking to usurp ASU FRAT LEADER's position? where can you find the Chad Rankings? this feels like in an ASOIAF book when a new point-of-view character is introduced

[PROTECT ALL WILDLIFE @Protect_Wldlife]

A sad day for the great Montana Bison.

Interior Secretary Doug Bergum, at the request of Little Greg Gianforte and the corporate zombie Montana Senators/Reps, has ended conservation grazing permits for Bison on the great American Prairie, a huge section of restored Bison land in central Montana. Make no mistake, the decision by Bergum is an extension of the nepo-baby, grifting cronyism that currently plagues our federal government.

But this time, the victim is the great American Bison.

Credit: Author Michael Hodges.

[𝐯𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐧 @PlamoDaddy]

🚨BREAKING🚨

Zohran Mamdani will FORCE all New Yorkers to watch the entire Mobile Suit Gundam U.C. timeline in CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.

What are your thoughts on this?

[Philadelphia Inquirer Politics @PoliticsINQ]

The National Park Service has started dismantling exhibits about slavery at the President’s House in Independence National Historical Park.

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

not a fuckboy monkfluencer 😭

[jakey bake @parttimewinner]

I heard Swifties are practically a new religion, I didn’t believe it until I went to a wedding where the entire bridal party mentioned Taylor in their speeches. Also they ritually sacrificed some kid on some huge shrine dedicated to the big Swift herself during the reception.

[Mia Agraviador @MiaAgraviador]

Kawhi Leonard? The environmental philanthropist?

[jakey bake @parttimewinner]

bards when you cast haste on them and they just double down on trying to rizz up the dragon mid combat

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

Me: these 9 Sapporos ain’t shit

Me, 37 minutes later:

[Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L]

Zohran: New York should be affordable for everyone

Cuomo: A single mother is homeless because your rent is too low

Eric Adams: Deep down, I think I must be little bit Dominican

[Brizz-Chan (Mr drive) @billybrizzle420]

I keep seeing ragebait posts about people on food stamps bro every missile in the iron dome costs 200 grand and we pay for them all I don't care if some chick with 6 kids bought name brand cheerios