On this first anniversary of my mother’s passing, I share with you the eulogy I wrote and delivered at her service.
Mamá
One of my mother’s favorite writers was Edgar Allan Poe. She would often break out into recitations of his poem the Raven. Poe once said:
The death of a beautiful woman is, unquestionably, the most poetical topic in the world.
While I won’t recite a sonnet today, I wanted to share some of her lovely mantras that she would repeat throughout our childhood and her life. Mantras that led her to have lived a most wonderful life.
One of the earliest was: Put your brain in gear before you put your mouth in motion. Taught us to listen intently, build empathy, and yes, to think before we speak.
Just do it. This one she borrowed. She couldn’t always wait for someone else to get it done. She loved creating with her hands. She built any and all furniture, she was the handywoman of the house. On weekends you’d find her wielding a machete or climbed up in a tree with a chainsaw. She made her own clothes, she made our Halloween outfits and costumes, she painted, she cultivated incredible flora in our yard. She was a renaissance woman.
Life is more fun in song. She loved oldies, bops from the 50s and 60s. Her instructions or requests were often little ditties from songs she loved. As kids she also would sing to de-escalate our moments of torment, singing through our tears until we started laughing.
Like Twain, she never let schooling interfere with her education. Like her mother, and inspired by her, she was a supreme auto didact. Head often buried in books. She dropped out of college and at 22 commenced what would be a 21 year career at Delta. At age 55, she graduated college the same year I graduated high school. She was a walking encyclopedia of jazz. She was a fiercely independent woman and thinker.
She instilled the Power of positive thinking. She taught us that there is great power in positive intentions and meditations, in being optimistic and believing in yourself and in your ability to succeed. Nearly without fault, this would result in her always finding a good parking spot.
Where there’s a will there’s a way. She was the most resourceful person. She built an enduring legacy at WDNA through diligence, persistence, and relentless collaboration. She would often remind me of how her father endured nearly a decade as a political prisoner, spending a year in solitary confinement with nothing but a cold rag. He had the will to endure, and so should you. She learned how to navigate so many systems and institutions, all in service of a mission to help expand arts and culture. All was in partnership, fueled by her determination.
There are no coincidences, everything happens for a reason. Even her passing. She would want us to draw a lesson or inspiration from her life. A reminder that so much of life is about creating and experiencing art, in all its forms. To seek out and celebrate culture and design. A life without art is too dull.
Whether in life or in your travels, always take the scenic route.
On behalf of our family, thank you all for the love you gave Maggie throughout her life. Thank you for the love and support you’ve shared with us and with each other. May God bless you, thank you.
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Last night, I made a simple request on X. I asked if anybody visiting Arlington National Cemetery for Memorial Day would stop by Alan’s grave and leave a photo for our family.
What happened next honestly caught me off guard.
By this afternoon, dozens of Americans from all walks of life had made the walk to Section 60 to visit SSG Alan W. Shaw. Veterans. Families. Complete strangers. People who had never met Alan, but chose to honor him anyway.
For one day on social media, people put aside the constant noise and negativity and came together for something bigger than themselves. My notifications filled with photos, kind messages, prayers, and stories from people honoring not just Alan, but so many of our fallen heroes.
I don’t think people fully understand what moments like this mean to Gold Star families. The fear is never just losing them. It’s losing them slowly over time as the world moves on and fewer people remember their name.
But today showed me that Alan will never be forgotten.
After years of watching social media reward some of the worst parts of humanity, today gave me a reminder that the good is still out there too.
Thank you to every single person who stopped by to visit Alan today, said his name, shared his story, or took a moment to honor the fallen.
This right here is the America Alan knew and loved enough to fight and die for.
And today, y’all showed us all that it’s still here and it’s still worth fighting for. 🇺🇸
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On this third Mother’s Day without my mum, the grief is resilient and resurgent, still coming in waves. With the anniversary of her passing, this holiday, and her birthday all within a seven day span, it’s a special kind of hell week.
She was the same age when she lost her mother, her namesake Margarita, to cancer, so she knew this pain too.
I didn’t get to meet abuela, but my mother spoke so fondly and lovingly about her, always exalting her as a renaissance woman—studied Classical Philosophy, a competitive sailor and rower, fluent in five languages with perfect English. Her American accent was finely tuned during her time at the Convent of the Sacred Heart in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania, which was a special privilege for young girls of decent means in Cuba. When I ended up at Penn for college, mum was excited that I’d continue a tradition of education in the Keystone state.
My mother was wonderful because abuela was tremendous. So much more to write about them both. I know I’m blessed to have come from such a lineage of loving and brilliant ladies.
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