The SWZA

Myeah, well.

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

We have a similar white trash infestation in the U.S.

Condolences. https://t.co/p0E9lfOqKk

[Jemaine Clement @AJemaineClement]

Man who stands up for free speech for white supremacists but complains he's "utterly sick of" being "forced" to listen to a couple of sentences in Māori on the radio in the morning - up for New Zealander of the year.

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Oh, good. 🙄

I was concerned when the heads of every branch of our military and our astronauts said, Who, the Air Force? Yeah, they do that already.

Worst. Administration. Ever.

https://t.co/lHTuVmfTQg

[AP Race Calls @AP_RaceCalls]

Defense Secretary Jim Mattis says he is satisfied that creating a Space Force as a separate service is the right way to reorganize the Pentagon's approach to space. https://t.co/uYZAnDBcRo

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

This man. https://t.co/vC3Rd5WEMM

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Don't wanna steal Idris Elba's thunder but I have just signed a deal to be the new Aunt Jemima. Look for Uncle Jemima chicken and waffle mix starting in November and whatnot. Also Uncle Jemima brand overalls and bandanas, available only at Neiman Marcus and whatnot.

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Sit back, relax and let @aljackson school your willfully ignorant ass. 💥 https://t.co/30VP75VYA9

[ACAB @playboicatie]

this daytime tv show came on and I really did not expect him to SNAP like that... mad props to you bro @aljackson

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Yuuup. https://t.co/9JSYcCU6UW

[Frank Conniff @FrankConniff]

Hillary's use of a private email server was a threat to national security, so it's a good thing we're in the capable hands of a Commander in Chief who was wiretapped by Michael Cohen, secretly recorded by Omarosa, and prank called by Stuttering John.

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

model: Bobbi Fleckman https://t.co/3SQLwltByL

[Robert Yasumura @teamyasumura]

Invented a guitar pedal that'll make your ax sound like Fran Drescher.

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Backpfeifengesicht, if there ever were one.

HORF! https://t.co/jWBlnoLvpn

[Los Angeles Times @latimes]

President Trump's Supreme Court nominee argued presidents should be shielded from all criminal probes — even questioning https://t.co/pfRoaQefxz

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Biff throws around "Wharton" like he earned a postgrad MBA.

Reality is he washed out of Fordham, and his dad bought him an undergrad business degree from Penn.

Womp.
To the WOOOOOMMMPP. https://t.co/UwgLWmMAlY

[BadHombreLands NPS @BadHombreNPS]

Wharton's got some splainin' to do...

[Amy McGrath @AmyMcGrathKY]

When you can't run on your record, this is all you got. @barrforcongress I sat on a runway on Sept 11 with missiles strapped to my F-18 awaiting POTUS orders to shoot down civilian aircraft to defend our homeland. What sacrifice have you ever made for our country over your party?

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Of COURSE, the curator of the coolest museum ever owns a Geiger counter.

😎 https://t.co/zGhPQbGGyu

[Mütter Museum @MutterMuseum]

We’re really excited that @SirPatStew is going to inspire the next generation of sci fi fans! 🤓🌖☄️

(This is @muttercurator’s personal Geiger counter)

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Your food touched so many staff taints and buttholes.

You'd know that is the absolute truth if you'd ever worked in service.

Crazy numbers of buttholes.

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Coolest thing ever, check. https://t.co/PNTr16KuG9

[NASA @NASA]

Spatulas in hand, student chefs from 30+ high schools across the U.S. were challenged to use food science to create tasty entrees for @NASA_Astronauts aboard the @Space_Station. See who served up the winning recipe in the battle for space breakfast 🍳: https://t.co/5rE3sKyav8

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Easily Suede
😂 https://t.co/Y8hk5EfW7E

[Dode @MutchMiles]

@pattonoswalt @GroovyBruce

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

This was missing from my Hey, English Major, Come Waste Your Time and Knowledge on Arrogant Fucks with the Literacy Skills of Your Average Zoo Animal gift bag. https://t.co/TgfijL1Diw

[Maureen Herman @maureenherman]

@ChurchofSatan

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Probably helps close some mouths if you've got 200 ft-lbs. on Marciano. https://t.co/t9h7afvzWv

[Stephen Pratt @TheStephenPratt]

Facial tattoos are a fad, except for the people who got them. Imagine if you could never give up pogs, Pokémon cards, Beanie babies, or fidget Spinners...and you had to wear them on your face.

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

‘Contrariwise,’ continued Tweedledee, ‘if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.’

Lewis Carroll, ‘Through the Looking Glass’

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Pretend to give a shit about our ridiculously vulnerable infrastructure after my resignation is called for over Operation Brown Kidnap, CHECK.

🙄 https://t.co/sITyus9BCH

[AP Race Calls @AP_RaceCalls]

No. 2 Senate Democratic leader Richard Durbin says someone in the Trump administration "has to accept responsibility" for the separation of migrant children from their families -- and he calls on Kirstjen Nielsen to resign: https://t.co/oSssSMNAmi

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

Will it also go on their permanent records?

🙄 https://t.co/GbKI3RxJTp

[Raw Story @RawStory]

Franklin Graham warns ‘media spin masters’ to shut up about Trump’s Playmate payoff or face God’s wrath https://t.co/GWDVDEkj4J

[The SWZA @TheSWZA]

It's things like this that keep the likes of Mike Pence and Betsy DeVos awake in horror.

Working-class women with the self-respect to dole out retribution forcefully without hesitation or regret. https://t.co/mlzi9iP94u

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

TONIGHT: A Georgia woman claims a sweet, Mortal Kombat-style victory over a handsy harasser.