TheSantander

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

“@msnbcLockup: Coming up: Meet an intoxicated Satanist that's behind bars. #Lockup #Tulsa” ok now I'm interested!!

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

@redbull zingers for breakfast

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

99/100 he might miss or cave in the placeholder's head, but on that 100th try I bet a horse could kick an extra point

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

I'm progressive yo...that's why I'm an advocate for gay divorce

[Mario Lopez @mariolopezviva]

Aloha! Gia has a luau party at school today...

#SummerSchoolKid http://t.co/7fA8GkKwnp

[Vince Mancini @VinceMancini]

‘Shia Labeouf Chased A Bum For His Food Before His Cabaret Meltdown.’ Christ. http://t.co/bD5BE6ogzA

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

UTI is like pissing a rope of flaming glass

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

do human butt plugs work on animals?

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

I love the #Miley twerk video but1) why is she at a Juicy J concert 2) why is she dressed like a stilt walker?

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

ran out of allergy meds so I borrowed some of grandmas birth control

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

a female caps fan was mocking me about the #bruins score and I said "enjoy your second period" really loudly....awkward

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

I'm also almost out of lube I've been cutting it with sunscreen to make it last longer

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

@kleinerdan no you woke up in the middle of a bukakki

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

if North and South Korea fused into one country, would it be calls Di-orea

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

@kleinerdan kahlesi

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

RT@KleinerDan: I accidentally just looked into the crack of the bathroom stall while at the urinal and looked into some man's soul

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

Mark #Kirk is not the first guy to be convinced by a really long stroke that gay marriage is ok

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

I cut myself shaving and it wont stop bleeding....so I can relate to girls having periods #pms

[TheSantander @TheSantander69]

rocking a long beer piss is tantamount to unprotected sex #fact