The Slutty Comic

I might be slutty, but I'm also pretty funny.

Follow me on Instagram: TheSluttyComic

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

@ACslater_22 is this the Nate Inman who used to live in Fitzgerald, GA? Send me a DM, k thx bye.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

@RageTheory https://t.co/T7kcz2jxAx

[Drunken Philosopher @RageTheory]

Girls should date guys with beards because growing a beard takes patience.

The kind of patience it takes to deal with your shit.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Regular marriage and gay marriage are like bikini tops and bras. They're exactly the same thing, but only one is taboo in public.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

You know how you don't get your dick sucked?

By being an asshole, that's how.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Girls are like roads: The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

I feel like I'm pretty good at stuff... But then I try to plug something into an outlet I'm not looking directly at.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Everyone's excited for Friday night except my liver and my wallet.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

My favorite mythological creatures are the happy girls in tampon commercials.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Wtf is "rapeseed" and why is it in my peanut butter?

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Why didn't Barbie get pregnant?

Because Ken came in a different box.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Nipple censorship is so weird. Like, I can see a whole boob, but HEY, WHOAH, OMG THAT PART STICKS UP! BLUR THAT BITCH!

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Cat hair is just glitter for lonely people.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

There is no such thing as too much cleavage.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

I wish I was a tiger. Then if I'm talking to someone & I get off topic I could say "but I tigress"

Then kill & eat them because I'm a tiger

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Girls go to the bathroom together because they have to perform hourly rituals to Satan.

This is a fact.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

I like people who are kinda an asshole. Not a full blown asshole, that's no fun. But if you're not an asshole at all, that won't work either

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

I'm too sober for this tweet.

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

Run???

Oh, hell no. I thought you said "Rum".

[The Slutty Comic @TheSluttyComic]

When you get bored of talking to someone, try to close their eyes like a corpse.