Shredded Cheese

3 wheels of cheese in a trench coat. Whiskey and bad decision enthusiast. Equal parts farts and philosophy.

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

This is an alt account. My name is Clark and I have been using this account for cheese appreciation and general nonsense. But I have met some good people on the cheese so it's time to be who I am while I ask for help.

[Clark in the Park @cvantuss]

I don't know how to say this. My heart is broken. This is my son. Please donate if you can, or share this if you can't. https://t.co/rJ58TO9N4D

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

@_Jizzabelle @shehasfreckles @therealinstereo Isn't that just chickenshit. May you be cursed some day to need one of these. I hope some feckless asshole mocks you on the internet. You can all fuck off.

[Law Of Attraction @The_Secret_Law]

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.

[JRGin @GinRumMe]

A party without cheese is a party I don’t want to be invited to.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

My body is the result of thousands of pull ups.

Pull up to the donut shop
Pull up to the drive thru window
Pull up results for “nearest pizza buffet”

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

@therealinstereo @DestryBrod It's a lift for the disabled. In the past year I've had to learn all about this stuff the hard way. There is no humor here.

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

Daily affirmation:
I will give people who use "then" when they mean "than" the benefit of the doubt and go on about my day.

Wooozaaaaa.

Out with the bad air...

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

@musicntats He has one song I like and I can't listen to the rest. Same with the Rolling Stones.

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

Been a couple days since I've showered which means I'm nearing the end of this depressive swing which means my productive phase should coincide with the weekend which means I won't waste it on work.

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

When I put my shirt on backwards I can tell immediately.

(I've been like this all morning)

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

It would appear the only purpose of the phone portion of this device in my hand is to receive scam phone calls.

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

I've got two wolves inside me but I've been feeding them both and now they're both just like fat little lazy Corgis.

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

There was this one day a couple weeks ago where I didn't eat like a disgraceful pig all day.

[Destry @DestryBrod]

If you're able bodied and park in a handicapped spot just because you'll be "quick" in the store I hope someone takes a shit in your open sunroof.

[Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt]

Men’s deodorant should come with an action figure.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Po. He just barked for the first time. It immediately sent him into an existential crisis. 13/10 (IG: readyset_po)

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

@English_Channel @LostGirl2323 She often runs around top less.

Me: I'm in.

[milk🔻 @TheSuperiorPink]

i ain’t about to cooperate with any dentist
if im paying $400 an hour, u better be a trained lion tamer too

[Law Of Attraction @The_Secret_Law]

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

[Shredded Cheese @TheSmoothCheese]

@TheFaceOfDave You know how much I hate it when you let things go to waste.