Ian Thornton

Time magazine's person of the year 2006. I swear i'll get round to whatever it is you're checking on me for tomorrow.

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

Christie ordered beaches closed down due to a gov shutdown. Today, he and his family enjoyed a state beach alone https://t.co/8zBkkShcBn

[Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski]

Chris Christie closing the beach to the public and only opening it up for himself is the most real life Cartman/South Park thing ever.

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

I should try last minute scrambles more often- great place in the centre of student Manchester for £100 a month, might even get a loft room!

[Carly @brunchproblems]

Nice try, 100 spiders working together to operate a keyboard.

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

This isn't a pentagon.
this is a circle cut by a lazy person.
I feel genuinely let down.
#newpoundcoin

[Liberty Lou @LibertyLou4]

@paulkrugman 36 ISIS fighters killed w/ #MOAB=300 mil

8.3 mil each

It would have been cheaper to just give the ISIS fighters flights on United Airlines

[John Kentell @johnkentell]

Don't forget the clocks go back 30 years tonight #brexiteve

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

@jonronson, look!
The internet! It's *learning*!

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

I'm suing youtube.

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

2016- "Oh, you thought i was done? Nope. I just ruined Star Wars. Happy new year, assholes."
#ripcarriefisher

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

Oh look. The one person I was told wouldn't be coming round today is the only person who did.

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

£5 haircut & more than 2 weeks worth of clothes to choose from. Home life does have *some* advantages.

[Comment Etiquette @commentiquette]

@realDonaldTrump Hundred bucks says you replace Obamacare with just Obamacare again but you call it Trumpcare, bankrupt it, and blame Obama.

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

My brother's not allowed in the house!
Santa, I don't know how you pulled it off, but you've just given me everything on my list.

[Manchester City Centre Police (GMP) @GMPCityCentre]

999 just in from man in just his underpants locked in empty office block. Last thing he remembers is leaving Christmas party in a bar at 1am

[Nathan @CoopsxD]

I'm not saying it's cold today but I've just seen a Tory with his hands in his own pockets

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

walked 2 steps out of the front door and got a drink poured over my head. Fitting end, really. I'm going to bed, i'm done with this week

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

Well, apart from most of my work being finished & being back on speaking terms. But now I've isolated myself back to week 1, so... Neutral?

[Ian Thornton @TheStateOfMe]

Two 3,000 word essays, 2 hours arguing with mum, and almost no other human interaction later, It's now safe to say this week's been wasted.