ty

we were promised jetpacks

[adele 🐈‍⬛ @bbyunicorntears]

fool me once thats it im killing myself

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

Why when Jesus talks about feeding the poor, it’s christianity. But when a politician talks about feeding the poor, it’s socialism?

[leyla @leylaaa31]

You guys HOLY SHIT. This is like meeting a celebrity

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

FRODO: *puts on the Ring*

EYE OF SAURON:

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Ok hear me out.

[Dr. Allison Wiltz @queenie4rmnola]

In reality….

[Caitlyn’s Pup @kaitlynspup]

Me when I see you have your eyes open during the prayer time

[𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚 @Chris_Grosse]

Me when someone from group 4 tries to board with group 3.

[Danny Shirey @DannyShireyPGH]

Every NHL draft I remember perhaps the best hockey twitter tweet of all-time

[PointlessHub @HubPointless]

*Foghorn Leghorn voice*

I say, I say give me a beat boy and free my soul

[Casino King @RealCasinoKing]

When someone passes me and ends up at the same red light.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

PAULA WHITE: Nobody has stood up like you have stood up

TRUMP: *sitting* *asleep*

[Praise @tufpraise]

Honestly pure dictator shit. A real democracy would immediately imprison him for even trying this

[BladeoftheSun @BladeoftheS]

Donald Trump Tweeted this picture of him holding all the cards in Uno.

A game where you win by getting rid of all your cards.

[Rev. Benjamin Cremer @Brcremer]

Then Jesus said unto the sick, “you better have insurance.”

Then Jesus said unto the stranger, “are you here legally?”

Then Jesus said unto the hungry, “my taxes better not be paying for these loaves and fishes.”

Then Jesus said unto the poor, “this is your own fault.”

[Allen B. @Alleninvests]

My work survey after HR assured us it was 100% anonymous:

[Bay Area Super fans @Baysuperfans]

When your sibling sees you getting away with something that they got caught for

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Fox News and Facebook did to our parents exactly what they said video games would do to us.