Darth Vancer

Carlsbad ➡️ ⬆️ 67J. — “Don’t you dare bad mouth Star Wars that was all accurate!” -Mark Wahlberg

[Darth Vancer @TheVancer]

My mom really made it sound like getting sucked into an escalator was gonna be a bigger problem than it turned out to be

[space force syd @bbysquids]

hello darkness, my old annual requirement

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Tropic Thunder is so good

[Darth Vancer @TheVancer]

Expressing discontent via the groupchat: A saga

[кᴇνッ @gunfingas]

telling my kids this was Daft Punk

[Darth Vancer @TheVancer]

@MohammedDugally It’s called shock. The body’s way of saying “hey homie don’t freak out but there’s a knife 1/4 inch in your hand”

[tony ferraro @tony_ferraro7]

everything in the world is about sex, except Uno. Uno is about power

[Darth Vancer @TheVancer]

@Goldteamrules69 Velma 😍

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

This is called the domino effect

[Darth Vancer @TheVancer]

Me spending ‘family time’ with my sister watching Great British Baking show
Hour 1: “This show is stupid”
Hour 15: “Manon keeps making French dishes during Danish week, but if Rahul doesn’t step it up and stop burning bread he’s going home”

[IDK @T_J_A31]

Trump said he’d date his daughter if she wasn’t his daughter. And that’s how he won Alabama.

[Darth Vancer @TheVancer]

Buying the 12 ft skeleton for Halloween then mailing it piece by piece to my mom each week

[Apex Ricki @plantphotomami]

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON...HER SISTER WAS A WITCH RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO. YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, DOUG. GROW UP BRO, GROW UP.