Sean Doherty

Former Costal Elite. Current Washington Insider.

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

I want to do pizza rat stuff with my friends

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

That time of year again

[Sean @SeanIsSketch]

My wife was trying to remember what episode of The Bear she was on. Luckily there are super helpful episode descriptions like this:

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

I'm old as fuck

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

One last tweet from main just in case (but still follow @SeanIsSketch)

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

Since you're probably back on Twitter right now, follow my new account @SeanIsSketch

[Sean @SeanIsSketch]

How can I be the next Chrissy Teigan?

[Sean @SeanIsSketch]

You: Thirty, flirty, and thriving 💁🏼‍♀️

Me: Thirty, surly, and dying 💀

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

@alyloca_ Sorry I'm unfamiliar with the genre

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

.@TedLasso trying to find a producing partner for my crazy show filmed in lower Manhattan. It's a loco SoHo S-Doh Co-Pro.

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

If white supremacists carry out a terrorist attack in the city I live in again today, all I ask is that I at least get the day off of work this time.

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

I'm moving back to LA to become a pet detective

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Lady Gaga offers half a million dollars for her stolen French bulldogs after walker was ambushed https://t.co/8QHhx9TQ4q

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

I think I might have misunderstood a casting call for a podcast and sent the person a very detailed, unsolicited story about deep dish pizza

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

Hit my weight goal. From this point on the weight I gain is for myself 😊

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

Covid has put me in an awkward position: Do I start working out to lose the 10 pounds I've gained since Thanksgiving ORRRR do I gain another 10 pounds to qualify for the vaccine earlier?

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

At least publicly saying I will to motivate myself to follow through

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

Dropping a comedy album on 3/15. New material, same low production value.

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

You (ignorant): "I'll celebrate Chinese New Year by eating Chinese food"

Me (woke). "I'll celebrate LUNAR New Year by eating MOON food"

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

Should have been titled "A Plan for Four Seasons"

[The A.V. Club @TheAVClub]

Inevitable Four Seasons Total Landscaping doc to be titled Four Seasons Total Documentary https://t.co/lxl1I8OSFT

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

Four more field goals from KC and this thing is all tied up

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

I feel like the goal of this halftime show is to trigger every Covid related anxiety I have

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

Preemptively exhausted from the many conversations I'll have to listen to tomorrow at work

[Sean Doherty @The_SeanD]

You have a 5 minute window to tweet about a commercial after it airs and after that it should be illegal to talk about it