swift kick to the buns

I dabble

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

Staring sadly at leaves with a rake in my hands.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

Is that a hand in your pocket or are you just alanis morissette to see me?

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

I know this grasshopper that is friends with a few murder hornets. He says to just do what they say and they're actually totally cool.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

I've never farted for money that wasn't a tip.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

Imagine if there was a pill to make you forget that you've watched the office 10 times. Then you could do it again 10 times for the first 10 times.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

I wear cleats 24/7 364. I am not available on slipper day. Nor can you know when slipper day is. It's not today.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

I like my autumn mornings like I like my dollar bills.. Crisp

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

Really long drum roll please..

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

I think I like the skinny and long tootsie rolls best. I'll probably run a few more tests to be sure. But first a tootsie pop to cleanse the palate.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

Whenever you're in a horror movie make sure to take a nice relaxing bath.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

A large group of dads go shoe shopping. At the mall they run into a rival shoe shopping dad group. They fight for a while, but then decide to team up. They find amazing bargains together. #RejectedHallmarkMovieScenarios

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

Oh jeez, my antennae are tingling.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

I don't care that you're steaming broccoli. It's still my fart that you smell.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

The beep of a preheated oven. The anticipation of yummy food. The wait. The movie. The forgetting. The burn? The remember. The eat.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

Me and my bong always get along.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

I've been through the desert on a horse, but the horse did have a name. It was Popcorn. Good thing we made it outta there too. We both really wanted some carrots, water and hay.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

You're never too old to eat a lollipop as long as no one sees you.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

We're all grasshoppers if you don't think about it whatsoever.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

On Mercury a day takes like 2 months. You can get so much done. Bring stuff to do. Also it gets a bit insanely hot/cold. Wear a jacket and really short shorts.

[swift kick to the buns @Themuffinma]

The key to good clam chowder is to only use clams that graduated clam college.