Keetoowahman1

Your friendly neighborhood keetoowah-man, forklift certified so I can lift your spirits

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@SkylarSkye3 We’re working all thru 4th of July weekend. No days off here! lol

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@elsathora This Saturday in Okmulgee Oklahoma is the Muscogee Creek Tribes festival

[NyanChuu🔮🇯🇵🍭 @tanpukunokami]

The Egg Command System

I ordered breakfast in America.

Simple.

Toast.

Bacon.

Eggs.

Peace.

Then the waitress looked at me and asked,

“How do you want your eggs?”

I froze.

How.

Do I want.

My eggs.

In Japan, eggs usually arrive with a plan.

In America, the egg waits for your leadership.

I said,

“Cooked.”

She smiled.

“What kind?”

Kind?

There were kinds?

She began listing them.

“Sunny side up, over easy, over medium, over hard, scrambled, poached…”

I stopped hearing words.

I heard military ranks.

Sunny Side Up sounded optimistic.

Over Easy sounded suspiciously injured.

Over Medium sounded like a compromise made by tired diplomats.

Over Hard sounded like the egg had survived prison.

Scrambled sounded like the egg lost the war.

Poached sounded illegal.

I asked,

“Which one is safest?”

The waitress said,

“Safe?”

A man at the next table said,

“Just get scrambled, bro.”

Just get scrambled.

America always says “just” before asking you to surrender your dignity.

I looked at him.

“I will not choose cowardice without understanding the battlefield.”

He nodded slowly and returned to his coffee.

The waitress waited.

Patient.

Powerful.

She had guided many men through egg panic.

I pointed at the menu.

“What is sunny side up?”

She said,

“Yolk up.”

“What is over easy?”

“Flipped. Runny yolk.”

“What is over hard?”

“Flipped. Cooked all the way.”

So the egg could be exposed.

Turned over.

Wounded.

Hardened.

Broken.

Or scrambled beyond recognition.

This was not breakfast.

This was an egg career path.

I finally said,

“Over easy.”

The waitress wrote it down.

No ceremony.

No bell.

Just ink on paper.

A decision had been made about the soul of an egg.

When the plate arrived, the eggs looked calm.

Too calm.

White body.

Yellow center.

Soft.

Dangerous.

I touched the yolk with a fork.

It broke immediately.

Golden liquid spread across the plate.

I whispered,

“I have released the sun.”

The man next to me said,

“That’s the best part.”

Of course.

America does not fear the broken yolk.

America puts toast in it.

I tried.

The toast entered the golden flood.

My brain objected.

My mouth promoted the idea.

By the second bite, I understood.

In America, an egg is not cooked.

It is negotiated.

By the third bite, I was no longer afraid.

I had chosen over easy.

The egg had accepted me.

Next time, I may attempt over medium.

Not because I am ready.

Because a warrior must continue his studies in breakfast warfare.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.

I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.

In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.

"Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully.

"Honey, that's what it looks like."

The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."

I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.

I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.

It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.

"Well?" the waitress asked.

"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."

"Everybody does, hon."

Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.

Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.

I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.

It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@akafaceUS Not know who Ashanti is or what?

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@FreddyLA7 Please visit the First Americans Museum while in OKC

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@FreddyLA7 I hope you make time to visit the @FAMokMuseum when passing thru Oklahoma. You will learn about Native American Culture. Maybe even get to try some frybread.

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@trumpetboy2 @TheCinesthetic I’m with you. I read them all before the movies.

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@TMathSports Watch Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, Rock vs Hogan at WM or Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio at Summer Slam.

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@JoeTessESPN if you see this. It’s The B O K Center. Not bock center 😆

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@cinnabrit You must eat at Braums while in Oklahoma 😁🤤

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

#WeWantKairi
#WeWantKairi
#WeWantKairi

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

The lead singer of Slipknot @CoreyTaylorRock is in the crowd at #WrestleManiaDayOne and they don’t show him as one of the stars in attendance. Wack

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@lids I am a Simpsons fan and a Cardinals fan but I didn’t even get a chance to buy one. Sold out instantly

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be wise on my part to take financial advise from a person who can’t even get himself to work and doesn’t give me gas money when I pick him up and give him a ride 😆

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

It was super peopley outside today

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

The urge to troll “Lumbee” people is poweful today. It’s taking everything I got to not do it.

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

I can’t stand when people use the End of the Trail sculpture in their logos or advertisements. Really grinds my gears.

[Keetoowahman1 @Thereal_CProc]

@GalvdayiAmaris 😊