Thingummyjig

Guaranteed 100% emoji-free zone
(please note: other emoticons may apply)

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@memorialdevice Never mind the shorts, he puts it out the day after Mani's passing. He could only DREAM of being the bassist Mani was. Bit of respect @alexjameshq, he paved the way for you.

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@OwdAlbert 70's kids: weeks spent collecting the wood from bombsites that yet hadn't been rebuilt, bigger kids would be left to guard it from other street gangs in the lead up. Yer ma would give you a big potato and a littler one for the small kid wearing wellies all year with no socks

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@MusicJim2 Well this is just exquisitely lovely. Can anyone tell me what the tune is please? I need me some more of that.

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@CarlBovisNature @JamesBlunt Surely you gotta include Adele's 'Someone Like You'? The woman's turned up out of the blue, uninvited, to his newly marital home to sing at him that she's knows where he lives. That 'Old Friend' wasn't 'so shy' - he was fucking terrified!

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@GodLitigation Great news! Single English woman in US big city here. We like men in suits (see our royal family. And Santa Claus). See you at the dive bar at midnight Xmas Eve when you're sobbing into your vodka and I'm calling everyone a wanker. We'll Hallmark the bejayzus out of each other

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

Behind us we heard him bellowing, genuinely surprised, 'Cor, she's touchy isn't she? Another one right up herself'. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Greg Wallace's 'banter'. The waiter apologised on the way out: 'We hate him coming in here. Next time free champagne for you.'

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

My Greg Wallace Experience for all those who think it's 'just banter' (thread):
A few years ago I (F) and my friend were having early evening drinks in a London restaurant to celebrate her landing her first big contract. My friend, a model, is uncommonly, staggeringly beautiful.

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

At which point my friend told him to go fuck himself in Dutch. Then in English for good measure, with a side order of 'You look like a giant penis, you act like you have a tiny one. It must hurt having to get your friend to pay for you to get laid' then sashayed out head-high.

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@LizJonesGoddess Having worked for you, a great editor I must say, with Gregg Wallace and way back Kirsty Wark, she is indeed capable of telling him to do one. But the man is a shockingly entitled arsehole. Breathtaking. He's had it coming for a long time.

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@BillyReevesOK Bloody LOVE your art - music and paintery stuff. What a combo!

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@quantick Thanks muchly for this Dave. Fancy a cuppa when I get there?

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@chris_hawkins The chain pub I work in (not Spoons) made us, resentfully, put up the Christmas tree in the last week of August. It was during the 3 day heatwave. An ancient regular shuffled in, said 'What is this, f*cking Australia?' and shuffled back out😁

[Thingummyjig @Thingummyjig3]

@estellecostanza 12 hour shift, finishing at midnight. Get home, get plastered waiting for the early returns. Stay up all night. Call in sick at 8am while still drunk. If it looks like a landslide for Kamala I'll tell my Farage-supporting boss to go fuck himself. And then fuck himself some more