brb cat's on fire

knit fast die warm

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Aight, done wrapping. Everyone else's stuff comes in a Walmart bag.

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Alright, well, I logged back in after like two weeks to shit talk Olive Garden and scroll for thirty seconds and holy moly, I did not miss this.

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@InternetHippo @olivegarden At least I got rid of the damn Darden gift cards finally

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@InternetHippo It’s like you were there with me at @olivegarden

Why y’all charging $20 for a giant chicken McNugget with tomato sauce on it? No for real, the McNugget Alfredo is more expensive than the sirloin, wtf?

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@Matt_Billips @KrangTNelson God damn auto correct, got me again.

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@AlmostMedia He made fun of a kid whose father had committed suicide and got pushed down some stairs. Maybe that other kid was ALSO a jerk, but two wrongs don't make a right.

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@scareakeets Guess I gotta be a steamer now :/

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Why does this headset need to have LEDs that "react" to audio? Who is going to see that? The lights are on the side of my head, outside my field of view. Explain yourself, @LogitechG

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@MNateShyamalan The only [noun] we need to make [adjective] again is trucks and smol.

Looking at you specifically, @ToyotaMotorCorp.

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@Srirachachau Don't forget that big swingin Viggo dick in Eastern Promises.

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@Secondlina I'm fairly certain you could set both of them on fire if you put your mind to it.

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@LitterboxComics My younger sibling used to self snitch. Everything would be quiet, then you'd hear a big crash on the other side of the house, followed by "I LOVE YOU MOMMY"

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@poseidonides @davenewworld_2 I'm old enough to remember the vandalism in NYC being shown live on TV in 2001.

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@dadrummondart Furcifer is what Satan named his cat.

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@Meevin10 Meevin is so exploited. Clearly suffering immensely. Just look at that face.

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Funniest Christmas lights I saw this year was three giant ass crosses made of strings of lights behind a nativity scene.

Hell yeah let's friggin murder a baby!

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@gorskon Quick, post videos of children with whooping cough, smallpox and other preventable diseases.

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@littlestb20 @iamJon_NY @mattxiv They know they're not "supposed" to be here and yet they come anyway. Telling them to stay home clearly is not working. Which isn't to say we should just let them in, but maybe not bus them around in the cold like political props once they're here. Just deport them, christ.

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@littlestb20 @iamJon_NY @mattxiv Or, just hear me out, theyre not making the choice to come here lightly, on a whim, and dropping them off in an unfamiliar place in freezing conditions is pretty rude at best. Deport them if you want, but why is it necessary to be inhumane?

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Lmao why is there a separate tab now for seeing replies/likes/whatever from people who have Elon $8? So that I can more effectively make fun of them for giving Elon $8?