MC

Why do you look for the living among the dead?

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

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[MC @ThulsaGloom]

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[MC @ThulsaGloom]

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[MC @ThulsaGloom]

@TommSciortino No, but I'll survive. Thanks for asking.

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

It's interesting that toxic ideologies double as comedic deadzones. Just steeling myself for the coming avalanche of painful zombie Jesus jokes as Easter approaches.

[Lil Uzi Hurt 🥺 @lostblackboy]

AP subtweeted the entire American journalism industry.

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

@SofiaWithAnFFFS I'm just here for the ratio.

[flglmn @flglmn]

KILL 👏 MORE 👏 ASTRONAUTS 👏

[Benjamin Perry @FaithfullyBP]

When I was in Tijuana a man asked me to bless the mass of bullet wounds on his stomach.

A couple I married told me how they were forced to flee Honduras before their wedding.

A 6-year-old described how her family had to walk thousands of miles after her father was murdered.

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

@Angstspork @dingerc @gladcastle3

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

Disappointed to learn that a margarita made with maple syrup is not called a NAFTA-rita.

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

What it's like for a woman to be in a relationship with a man: https://t.co/Dl7soiuf1E

[Joe Kwaczala @joekjoek]

For all the people meeting their significant other’s parents this holiday season...

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

I now present the two videos that most perfectly encapsulate the experience of being in a heterosexual relationship.

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

What it's like for a man to be in a relationship with a woman:
https://t.co/a1up6eIfAs

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

@octopushat Isn't he holding a sword in that scene?

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

The real plot hole in Lord of the Rings isn't "Why didn't the eagles fly the Ring to Mount Doom," it's "Why didn't Elrond headshot Isildur at Mount Doom in the first place?"

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

I had the misfortune of laying eyes on a picture of a pornographic Jesus tattoo today and I find myself aghast at how small and frivolous that person's life must be.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

“What’s your name?”

“John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.”

“That’s my name too!”

“Let’s go out!”

The People: (screaming and shouting)

[MC @ThulsaGloom]

@Angstspork I strenuously approve.