Timmy Weldon (Parody)

I'm thin, I wear glasses....I'm not good enough for you to follow me. ☹️

[A.J. Leatherman @AJLeatherman]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you're celebrating your political enemies getting shot, you're not anti fascist, you now ARE a fascist. If this applies to you, take stock of your life - your parents did a terrible job raising you, and you're a dogshit human being.

[MJ Thrill @_Carlos_Danger]

He’s so dumb!!!!

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@The_SaltySeaDog Mayor Vaughn told my dad it was just a boating accident, or possibly seaweed.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@The_SaltySeaDog Freshman year, she let me carry her books to all her classes. 🥰

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@SweetHitcher69 My dad says guys like that sell doobies down by Old Ladies Pond.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@JasonVoorheesIM Hypothetically speaking, would a character who survived the events of Jaws 2 be considered a "Final Girl" even though he's technically not a girl? Asking for a friend.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@MayorLVaughn @RNC @DNC I went to the Amity Comic Convention at the Shores Holiday Inn a few years ago, and it was great. I got polaroids with Gabe Kaplan and Randolph Mantooth.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@thedailyjaws The second one was better.

[William @Texas_William]

Baseball fans when the news of #AngelHernandez retirement came out 🤣🤣🤣 #MLB

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@MayorLVaughn For guys like me who live here year-round, #SummerDollars means making $8.25 an hour to paint the restrooms on the beach. 😔

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

Uh-oh, I hope this doesn't mean a new OS update is coming up. It took me 29 hours to download Basic 1.6 onto this thing!

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

All of my AOL bulletin boards seem to be down - I'll try dialing in from a different number.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@SweetHitcher69 I'm only blind if I take off my glasses.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

My family is finally taking us on a vacation. We're staying at a small town in New Jersey - it'll be nice to get away from all of the (supposed) bather injuries in Amity, and relax in a nice, safe, quiet town tonight.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@Deckard_Myles 😳 Wow, all of the teachers here in Amity look like Polly.

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@PyschoBrandon24 @BrackAttack78 Never heard of him - the only guy I know who goes by the Rock is Ole Anderson. He once wrestled at the Amity Shores Convention Center, and I asked him for an autograph after the show - he called me a "f'n pencil necked geek" and chased me off. 😠

[Timmy Weldon (Parody) @TimmyWeldon]

@Deckard_Myles I prefer to do my flirting on the Commodore 64 bulletin boards. I'm quite the smooth talker on there.

[Ric Flair® @RicFlairNatrBoy]

Throwback Thursday With Pamela Anderson On The Set Of Baywatch! WOOOOO!