We heard Nandi loud and clear. Her point was that Black men deserve grace because the system crushes them hardest: no money, no government support, 400 years of stacked odds, and constant pressure to succeed.
Our point is this: that same system hits Black women just as hard, often harder. Patriarchy. Single motherhood. Unpaid care work. Higher poverty rates. Sky high GBV risks but when women survive those exact conditions through informal hustles or sex work just to feed their families, they are shamed. Insulted. Called slurs. Told they have no dignity.
So men deserve grace for trying, but women are humiliated for trying to survive? You cannot demand grace from women while denying it to them in the same breath. That is selective empathy.
Grace is not a one way demand from women to men. It has to be mutual. Otherwise it is just another burden placed on the group that is already carrying the most.
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One of the many reasons why I think reading is so great is because when I read it’s like my problems fade away for a minute and I get to immerse my mind in a completely different world.