tisTree

Santa’s Helper in Charge of Multimedia Marketing. Yes, I am a tree.

[tisTree @TisTree25]

Trick-or-tisTree! It's time for an interactive Hallow**n GIFstravaganza! Thrill as a Christmas Tree is forced to take some young delinquents trick-or-treating at Christmas Village, North Pole! Featuring... https://t.co/PQMhuUs7Pl

[tisTree @TisTree25]

The snow is coming down pre-shaped into snowmen. Some of them are quite risquè...

[tisTree @TisTree25]

Santa says to tell you "Ho ho ho, Merry Chrismas!" but I told him you already know.

[tisTree @TisTree25]

Giant discarded car bows are blowing in from the rich neighborhoods like tumbleweed

[tisTree @TisTree25]

It's almost Christmas, which means one thing and one thing only: tisTree Christmas Special delayed yet another year! Don't worry, we are currently in the middle of intensive R&D, developing the necessary tech. You'll never look at plain HTML the same way again!

[tisTree @TisTree25]

If you have any houseplants, which are to trees as dogs are to the noble wolf, start watering them with Egg Nog. They will thank you, in a human tongue.

[tisTree @TisTree25]

Being a tree is easy because Egg Nog covers all your nutritional AND moisture needs.

[tisTree @TisTree25]

It's officially Christmas season, and you know what that means: NORAD will once again begin hunting down Santa Claus for their tag and release program. Please NORAD, I beg you to stop your merciless hunt, Santa is not an animal! (He is technically a fungus.)

[tisTree @TisTree25]

What Jesus needs is to make friends with Peter Pan and run away to Neverland (where Tinkerbell lives)

[tisTree @TisTree25]

I've said it before many times, many ways: baby Jesus will always be so much cuter than adult Jesus (especially crucified, yuck!)

[tisTree @TisTree25]

Easter Bunny may be a false idol, but at least his trademark is a fluffy tail and big ol' ears rather than open wounds.

[tisTree @TisTree25]

(The dollar was for milk for baby.)

[tisTree @TisTree25]

I will not sink to the level of a fool this year, but I will (with my boughs held high) promote my very real April Fool's Day special. Please experience this special in the non-joking, non-laughing way it was intended! https://t.co/6RzKaj0zG0

[tisTree @TisTree25]

His tombstone says: "Died valiantly following a dollar on a string."

[tisTree @TisTree25]

Nobody has ever invented a genre of music better than MIDI