Another reason why it's hard to speak out is that I'm scared my friends and family are probably tired of hearing the same thing from me over and over again, or that my problems are too trivial for people to care about. Or maybe it's just that I'm just a boring person.
Dostoevsky was right; “Every self-betrayal is a sin. Whenever you go against your nature, your body reminds you.”
If you spend enough time with anything, you start liking it, even sadness. So let’s choose people and spaces that truly elevate us. Your peace is worth it.
According to psychology people who grew up in families where no one apologized for disagreements, and would just let time pass instead of actually resolving things, often become conflict-avoidant, fearing confrontation or the expression of negative emotions, poor communicators, lacking the skills to effectively resolve issues or express their needs and feelings.
My therapist told me:
“When a person grows up feeling unseen, they learn to love by over-giving. They pour into everyone else, hoping that, one day, someone will finally pour back into them. So they become the care taker. The fixer. The one who shows up, even when no one shows up for them.”
And the hardest part? Deep down, they're not trying to be strong. They're just waiting for someone to do for them what they've spent their whole life doing for everyone else.
Tolerating always turns to resentment. At first, you call it patience, then love. But what it really is, is self-abandonment. Every time you swallow a boundary, excuse a pattern or silence your discomfort, something inside you keeps score. Likes And eventually, the bill comes due.