Lindsay Farrell

Humor is my religion.
Jokes are my prayers.
Laughter is my heaven.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

Honestly @peacock , you have made watching the Olympics INSUFFERABLE with all the ads while streaming. Shameful bullshit that fills me with RAGE.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

This is not necessarily a complaint.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

I thought listening to a podcast instead of ambient music would help me get through my recent MRI w/o having a panic attack this time. Had them put on Dear Hank and John and was treated to a lengthy discussion about butt cracks while I hyperventilated.
@hankgreen @johngreen

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

@tuckerlindgren They should only have like 1 chip per cookie and that would be PERFECT.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

I want to perform an experiment and I'll need the following:

- pitch black room
- large hardwood floor (20'x20')
- small carpet square (1'x1') randomly placed
- puking dog

Where will the dog puke?
I think we all know the answer.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

If volunteer work is supposed to be satisfying and warm your heart or whatever, I'm clearly doing it wrong.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

@MomAllDay the jump from line 3 to line 4 took me about 15 minutes of trying every single letter combo. we pronounce things so weirdly in english.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

Honestly @Google, idk why you got rid of Hangouts, a perfectly good app that I used flawlessly with family and friends, and replaced it with Chat, a slow useless piece of crap that can't handle me trying to send a photo. I get angrier at it every day.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

@elizabeth_joh @CT_Bergstrom Just wanted to say thanks for the recommendation. I've really enjoyed reading this.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

Vermont is glorious and everything. Of course it is. It's beautiful.
But every bathroom I've used here has had single ply toilet paper.... Idk what my point is but that's an issue.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

Depending on the perspective, I'm definitely included in this as well but I have found that the majority of people (by a huge margin) are entirely fucking incompetent.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

@harto I've got that same rug in my kitchen and it tries to kill me on the daily.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

It's sweet and it's salty!
It's warm and it's cold!
It's a fry in a Frosty and it NEVER GETS OLD!!
@Wendys

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

Broil.
Your.
Toast.

[Stacey Abrams @staceyabrams]

Amanda Gorman’s message serves as an inspiration to us all. #InaugurationDay

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

Great job, @KenJennings ! It'll never really be the same, but I think Alex would be proud.

[Jeopardy! @Jeopardy]

Simply the best.
Thank you, Alex.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

@realDonaldTrump Good.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

@mrhatonacat Please don't give Amazon bad ideas.

[Lindsay Farrell @ToWhenTFor]

@romanmars This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry. I wish your father peace.