Fun To Do List

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: make a car that can text you when the car ahead of you brakes...

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: want to get on TV, just blow anything on the west coast, just like hurricane Isaac and Kim Kardashian did

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#To_DoList: always carry a jellyfish in case you need to pee on someone.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: invent an alarm that wakes you up with the smell of bacon.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

Welcome to Facebook, where relationships are perfect, liars believe their own lies & the world shows off they are living a great life.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

You know your food taste like shit when your dog takes a bite and licks his ass to get the taste out of his mouth

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

I wanna f*ck you so hard we have to exchange insurance information.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

When your drunk, leftovers aren't so bad....... this may or may not be about food.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

0 mutual friends, you're not even from my country, how the f*ck did you find me!?

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

Stealing candy from a baby is actually pretty hard....... They always have adult friends nearby....... and they're loud snitches.......

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

Sing with your headphones in and think, "Why don't I have a record deal?"...Then take them out and you'll know why.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: Don't play with a girls heart, she only has one, play with her tits she got two of those

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: wonder who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian marriage?

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: Don't always eat what is right. Sometimes eat what is left.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#TDL: Invent Mood Cars. Vehicle color changes based on drivers behavior Turns red; they're angry White; they're sick Pink: they're pregnant.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: Call a hot female carpenter to fix your morning wood

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: Lick every single one of your posts before you post them, just incase someone tries to steal them.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: It's a #Kodak moment let's all go and get our camera.

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: No, I do not "like" your duck face

[Fun To Do List @To_DoList]

#ToDoList: EnJoy cApS lOCk