Todd Cooper

America's +1, TCOTUS

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@SouthwestAir could someone help me rebook our flight for tomorrow? They’ve rebooked us on a red eye tonight and I’d rather take the flight tomorrow.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

Is this thing on?

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@bradburn3_josh I was a pastor for 5 years and went through enough seminary to realize how far from the original text American Christianity has pulled its currwnt narrative. Good use of the exclamation point though.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

Hey Christians, maybe stop praying for that parking space or that your kid gets into their preferred school. It seems to be clogging up the prayer lines and keeping god from doing anything important at all.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@tonythaxton @alsowolfman This is better. Did we have “Did I June that”?

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

I watched all of Love is Blind. I learned a little bit about love and a lot about how every single relationship notion has a very specific song about it, and that song sounds a lot like a ton of other songs.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@tonythaxton @alsowolfman If I’m being honest I forgot. Did we have Apralf?

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@How2Drink @PFTompkins This is my number one concern. My wife is pro telling our daughter Santa isn’t real. I’m kind of whatever about it, but mostly just bummed she’s going to be the bummer kid at school some day. Also, our daughter is TERRIFIED of Santa, like turn away from Santa decorations afraid.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@EdGrapeNutZimm @Robdobi Holy smokes!

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

I’m ashamed at how much I want to live in pre-earth WallE times.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@drichardbailey I’m killing at half of this!

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

Please be advised that my parents pronounce “NASA” like the Bahamian Capital “Nassau” and every time I don’t say anything because I know it is with us forever and instead I choose to simply absorb it as a natural fact about the world.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

Not for nothing but since I got the vaccine I haven’t had any issues with horse worms.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@paulandstorm Agreed!

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

Sometimes I play a game with my daughter where I make up fake funny names to see if she laughs. I got 25 no’s in a row including Gladys Pepperidge, Frankie the hat, and Scaly Jim. The one was finally green lit was “Terrence Starwars.”

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@brendonbouzard @BenBlacker Brendon, swap em. Carrot Boy. Now you’re in business.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@Astro_Suni Thank you so much for the video! My 3 year old little girl watches it every night before bed and just loves it and talks about you all day long. Our house is just one more place where you’re a hero.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@_chrisgarcia Every Paul F. Tompkins show show, but there was one particular Danny Boy performance where he slowly crept towards the side door as he was singing and quickly exited at the end of the song. It was absolutely masterful.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

Because of the Christmas record my daughter thinks John Denver was a legitimate full time muppet.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@EdGrapeNutZimm Ugh. Pete did this for a while too. I think it’s fairly common puppy business. I know how you feel though. Wish I had a solution but our guy kind of grew out of it slowly.

[Todd Cooper @ToddCooper]

@bnacker Oh no really? I liked it! But what do I know, I don’t like bob dylan, Ben. BOB DYLAN.