Torfu

The rich are also a good source of protein

[soggy broccoli @soggybrocoli]

oh go fuck yourself

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

i’m so jealous of her

[doxie @doxie_gay]

at the store, yall need anything?

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@aidanreality The new Ragan

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Putting a bay leaf in a recipe even though idk what the fuck it does

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@EastEndJoe Mr. Feeney as Kid Rock

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@DontShowYourCat Bouba and Kiki

[daniel 🧮 @dunisayno]

she read his texas strategy memo

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@thedefiedge Can’t wait for the @dieworkwear take on this

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@clhubes And it’s not because I worry about my kids being around alcohol. It’s because I can’t even get my 3yo to sit properly in a Panera Bread. You think I want the stress of having him in a bar with sticky floors and tons of glassware?

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@clhubes I feel both sides have unrealistic expectations about where kids should be. You don’t want me to take my kid to a grocery store? Insane. You want to take your kid to a bar? Also insane, imo. You wouldn’t catch me dead in a bar with my kids.

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@clhubes I feel this in my bones. My rationale is that when they’re a little older and can read books or whatever on their own without needing me to make sure they’re not dying or mauling each other, then they can stay up until whenever.

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@clhubes Idk how anyone goes to the gym and THEN has to take care of small children. Absolute madness. I need to flop on a couch and do absolutely nothing after working out.

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

There are two types of Boomers who had kids a long time ago — those who worry your 3yo will choke on literally anything that isn’t mush and those who offer hotdogs to your 6mo who started solids 2 days ago.

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@sarahradz_ @lydiainok @reneecallier Can you flip the lock and put the lock on the outside of the door? We have a similar system for our 2.5yo and he plays safely in his room until we go get him.

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@BLUNDERBUSSTED @Nexuist Idk why you gotta bring burgers into this

[The Lord of Leisure @LeisureGod69]

If this flag offends you, I’ll help you pack

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Me to my boss: Hey I have to wfh today, I couldn't answer the riddles three. Yep, they didn't let me across the bridge. I'll see you on Teams though.

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@MichaelaOkla @milesbon

[Torfu @TofuDeity]

@dieworkwear @rainbowdefault Do not come for Cape Cod like that I almost died