TommyTomatoes

Professional juggler & monster truck enthusiast

[jake @wormpuller]

Calling in fat and sleepy to work

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

all the other soldiers in the trojan horse: *wildly gesturing for me to stop*

me: *gesturing not to worry they’re for all of us while trying to very quietly open a bag of chips*

[John Halo @EpicMasterChief]

I do all my grocery shopping at chuck e cheese and and nerd ropes have gone up 300 tickets this year alone

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

We can still win this game.. if Mike Pence has the courage

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Wow, these Epstein files are more blacked-out than Pete Hegseth after the Pentagon Christmas party

[gal debored @ckayerawlings]

It’s so funny how 2008 happened we all learned a super valuable lessons (banks and big corporations are ruining our country) and then the banks got worse and the corporations got bigger

[big content guy @bigcontentguy]

russ gonna remind him to put a dollar in the swear jar later

[pureapox🌟 @pureapox]

This is frying me why did it auto lock onto them

[maha @mahaaaay]

my cat gained two pounds when he was living with my parents. turns out my mom was feeding him ice cream

[lemon ✨ @nouisyorkk]

i hope this email blows your head smoove off

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Wow I can’t believe Epstein killed himself before realizing it was all a hoax

[Glenn @Shenaniglenns]

Detective: the suspect is described as having “really lame skateboard tricks”

Suspect #1:

Suspect #2:

Me [holding back tears]: I bet the suspect is also maybe described as a beginner who is trying his best

[Roob @roob_drummer]

snowing hard this morning. Bus driver slid through a red light. Only thing he said was “we slidin” i cant stop thinking about this

[Read Jackson Rising @JPHilllllll]

Watching Trump and Elon fight:

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

I’ve paid close attention to Pope Leo XIV’s first address and have determined I do not understand Italian