Tom

-Living the dream

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

@KlausJosh 2nd best to marvin lewis i think u mean

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Does anyone else tell the waiter at olive garden “thats good” on the cheese? When in reality you want more but you feel rude? Gets me every time...

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

I feel like the kool-aid man every time i reach for a #whiteclaw and pull a #lemonclaw out of the fridge... I literally say “oh ya” out loud every time

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

@jklaus32 @RossStechschult I'm about 92% sure now Ross does his haircuts in the nude

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

I wish the government would tell me how much longer im grounded... not really fair since i barely broke any laws last month

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

45 seconds into tiger king... hooked

[Aaron J. Carpenter🇺🇸 @aaronjcarpenter]

I say we close down the national media for 30 days and watch 99% of the world's problems vanish

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

No bars, no casinos, no sports to gamble on... im going to me miserable... But im going to have a zillion dollars when this ends

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Is it posible that mango might be the worst flavor in the new whiteclaw variety pack? #clawproblems

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Tonight i sat at home, had a few glasses of red wine, and was inspired by the Taylor Swift netflix movie... All my man cards are gone

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

God damn #DemiLovato #wayunder

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Im going to go forward the rest of my life believing kobe faked his and his daughters death... the conspiracy is easier to cope with

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Just looked at how much i paid in taxes in 2019. Im starting to think id prefer dirt roads, less police, less firemen, less parks, less government......

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

The ravens are savages... fake a punt at the 10 yard line. Everyone hates the steelers

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Odell Beckham has done very little all year. Guy makes a good catch in a meaningless game where they lost to the team who is getting the #1 draft pick and #ESPN is blowing it up. More reason why #ESPN is garbage

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Everytime i see a college football commercial i get sad... im cancelling youtube tv

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Buckeyes were down 14-0... thats when i started drinking claws. Since then ive had 4 claws and they have scored 4 times. Coincidence???

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Just took a piss on Wibbys Foosball table. My dominance has been established

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

mia khalifa picked the over for #MNF, so obviously i took the under. U know the old saying, bigger the boobs smaller the brain. This bet is a lock

[Tom @TonySwagTime]

Time to sit down and watch a good horror movie after weekend of working in retail and helping people i have to be pretend nice to.... yes i will be rooting on the bad guy...