T.A.

MHCLG Editor-in-Chief and Sec of State speechwriter. Ex-Cabinet Office/Defra/MoJ. Likes/RTs do not imply endorsement.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@icod Have you tried a force restart? Received wisdom says it’s a glitch <helpful >

[Press Gazette @pressgazette]

Update: Judge orders businessman to pay Mill Media almost £40,000 in costs after two defamation claims dismissed https://t.co/iOdGFVzJWW

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@SamaHoole Hurrah - Keith Returns!

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@zatzi https://t.co/lSUV5aUbzR

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@zatzi F&B Mizzle is great for bedrooms. A very muted and peaceful blue/grey/green that changes with the light but is never cold in feel.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@SamaHoole Is there a chance of mini-Keiths? Can he father Keith-Kids?

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@forwardnotback Can’t sleep? Hope you’re feeling ok and recovery continues.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@swtrains_watch @SW_Help Can you add that yesterday, the SWR app was total fiction - showing multiple cancellations but that certain trains were just ‘delayed’ - eg Putney-Isleworth at 1638. But staff at Putney station were saying there were no trains and not letting anyone into station. Infuriating!

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@SamaHoole Can we have a Keith update please?

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@limebike My Lime Prime is no longer working since I got a new phone. On the setting menu it says my phone number already exists. I’m being overcharged for every ride while still having my Prime sub. I’ve been reporting it via the app since April 18. STOP TELLING ME TO REPORT IT

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@icod She’s an eccentric ‘frequent flyer’ to the ER with potentially some kind of criminal background that is only ever hinted at.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@Rainmaker1973 I really enjoy your content and yours is the only account I subscribe to! Your posts brighten my day - entertain, inform, educate. They’re great.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@Ryanair You’re a day early.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@Baroness_Nichol The combination of masks, people disappearing behind Perspex screens and many more men seeming to grow beards. I really floundered with the combination. Couldn’t hear, couldn’t lip or face-read. Awful.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@LUXURYLAW Glorious but give the poor lass a woolly jumper.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@PoliticalPics No need to apologise! And anyway, your pictures do all the talking for you and more.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@SamaHoole Keith is bigger than I had thought from your previous photos.

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

New information has emerged about the post office incident.

Keith's permanent record, Entry 7, states only that Keith "was found in the village, had at some point eaten something that resulted in an incident outside the post office."

Dave has now provided the full account.

Keith escaped on a Wednesday. Keith was in the road for eleven minutes before Dave noticed. Dave drove to the village. Keith was outside the post office. Keith had eaten the contents of a hanging basket mounted to the wall at approximately Keith's head height, which had contained petunias, trailing lobelia, and what Dave describes as "some kind of succulent that the post office gets every year and that Maureen from the post office is particularly attached to."

Maureen was not attached to it by this point. Maureen had opinions about this.

There was also a display board outside the post office advertising the village fete, which had been in a plastic stand at ground level. Keith had not eaten the display board. Keith had, however, moved it. The display board was now approximately four metres from where it had started and leaning against the parish notice board.

Dave could not explain how this had happened.

Keith could not be asked.

Maureen had two further opinions.

Dave apologised. Dave paid for the hanging basket. Dave has not established what Keith was doing with the display board.

Dave's log, Entry 7 addendum, added three weeks later: "I think he moved the board to read it. I don't know why I think this. It just feels consistent."

Keith is back in the village occasionally on Wednesdays.

The hanging basket now has a bracket extension that raises it six inches higher than before.

Keith has been measuring this from the road.

Maureen has been informed.

Maureen has added a second bracket.

[T.A. @TopazAmoore]

@sophiegrenham I often play something even louder and sing along in their ear and when they turn to me and look outraged I say - ‘Yeah - isn’t it really annoying?’