Glittered Adult

Worse than spilling glitter.
Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own & do not represent the views or opinions of my employer.

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

Sorry God.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I truly don’t recall making you this stupid.

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

The wife shouldn't have cheated, but also, shouldn't the vasectomy been an important conversation before being married?

[Moonlight 🌙 ✨ @Moonlight_myths]

My wife was so excited when she told me she was pregnant. But she didn't know I had a vasectomy long before we met.

When my wife showed me the pregnancy test, my heart dropped.
She looked so excited.
And I went along with it.. smiling and pretending to be shocked in a good way.
But in reality, I already knew the baby wasn't mine. I had a vasectomy four years before we even met. I didn't say anything.
I told her it was amazing and pulled her into a hug. All the while, my head was spinning.
I was hurt. Because deep down, I knew I had been betrayed. That's when I started thinking about Michael. He's a close buddy of mine from college.
Earlier this year, he stayed with us for a few months after a breakup.

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@mattdagley

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@mattdagley I haven't thought of Kijiji (or Craigslist) for a long time. Memories unlocked!

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@mattdagley lol wait, aren't donairs messy? Wouldn't that get all over your car?

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@mattdagley how deliciously messy did it end up being?

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@mattdagley I got a half-dozen myself, and they're delicious!

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@mattdagley A dozen can count as one, right? ;) I mean, for testing purposes and all.

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@StarbucksCare

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

Hey @PurolatorHelp @PurolatorInc
It was nice weather today in Halifax- the heck!

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

Receipts

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

What the heck @PurolatorHelp @PurolatorInc Yesterday's weather was FINE.

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

hey @JoeFresh My order's been pending for 7 days now. What's going on? 🧐

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@katynotie My ex once got a call from a call centre from somewhere in the States, and they apparently pronounce Nova Scotia "Nova Sco-TEE-ah".

It's pretty cool people can pronounce places properly.

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@PurolatorHelp Thank you.

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

Hey @PurolatorHelp @PurolatorInc do you think this is an acceptable way to deliver packages?

@Sephora time to use a different courier?

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@katynotie Just general Katy adventures.

(Though I love your tweets about visits to cemeteries, ngl)

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@katynotie Can you imagine how many more pizzas will get sold if he becomes the pope?

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

. @KennysBookshop is the jam! I ordered a book from Canada, and it arrived in 3 weeks! <3

[Glittered Adult @TorontoBecky]

@katynotie @cjdobsonpei Me three! Now I have 3 pairs and they all don't tweeze properly in different ways? I don't get it.