Toya

I'm too smart to be this stupid 🏳️‍🌈

[Toya @Toy_A101]

I get told at least once a day how amazing I am, even the days I don’t leave the house. And I live alone.
#selflove

[Philosopher King, Oracle @signalborder]

If you don’t like raw sex appeal, I’m your guy.

[Toya @Toy_A101]

I’ve been asked why I’m taking our breakup so dramatically. Apparently we are just on a friendly break and she’s not going anywhere so I’m being ludicrous and now she might genuinely breakup with me because she can’t deal with my drama #Gaslighting

[Toya @Toy_A101]

My favourite part about relationships is how hard I am to understand when it’s your turn.
It’s as if I speak perfectly understandable English for the first two months and then some unknown form of Klingon from there.

[Toya @Toy_A101]

@neenkofi That one also decided I’m almost perfect but not worth the effort. I’m going to etch this shit on my tombstone at this point.

[Toya @Toy_A101]

@neenkofi That’s the irony I was thinking. Also I finally broke that cycle so yay me. Good luck

[Toya @Toy_A101]

When her name on your phone goes from “Wife” to “🚩” you know the cycle of absolute heartache is about to begin.

[Toya @Toy_A101]

We all up in here swiping right like that shit isn’t going to ruin your whole life.

[Toya @Toy_A101]

@iamjustcara How’d that work out for you?

[Toya @Toy_A101]

How are you?

I’m “thinking about unblocking my ex” levels of not ok.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Formerly "His Royal Highness Prince Andrew" spent the day getting used to people calling him "Andy."

[HauntedTrishHeap 🇵🇸 @trishimal25]

I'm not chubby, I'm very treat motivated, making me an excellent choice for a companion.

[Toya @Toy_A101]

Mother Nature up here getting shit done while everyone is praising God, the bloke who’s doing fuck all.

As usual.

[Toya @Toy_A101]

How do I talk to my drugs about kids?

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

If I were married, my wife would not be shoveling snow after working a long shift. Not with these gutters that need cleaning.

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

I thought I was sad but it turns out I was just hungry.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Say what you want about her but I really relate to Elizabeth Holmes. For example I am also not qualified to run a health technology company