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Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
Take it easy. We're all crazy. It's not a competition.
United States
Joined October 2011
1.2K
Following
1.4K
Followers
1.1K
Posts
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Unfollow your dreams! (marketing Twitter here, obviously)
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Which bird has a throat pouch that's completely useless for storing fish? The pelican't. I'll see myself to the gallow...
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
[visually impaired Secret Service agent yells into sleeve] Head shot! Sniper at four o'clock!
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
I bet none of you can't imitate my voicemail message as well as I do when I accidentally answer.
Who to follow
College Football Revamped
@CFBRevamped
Custom playable updates for NCAA 14 on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC. Instagram: @CFBRevamped Discord: https://t.co/dsedPry8I8 Directions at https://t.co/qMcXhLUxUg
Iliana Calabró
@ilianacalabro1
Actriz y Conductora. Contacto @agenciaab Lu a Vi Iluminadas @tv_publica y en gira con Viuda e hijas
Cory Minderhout
@CoryMinderhout
Now: Planning Manager @SpecNews1SoCal Former: Assignment Desk @NBCDFW @komonews @KIRO7Seattle
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
What? Putting my foot in my mouth is just part of my work out routine.
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Awesome group cuddle. Now where's my glasses?
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
"A certain degree of discretion might be in order if you understand me." "Got it. Fahrenheit. No? Celcius? Help me out here!"
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
I can't seem to get the hang of covering my PIN because I get robbed two bucks every time.
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
When did the internet become all about telling me I've done everything wrong all my life?
TravisTweeting
retweeted
AmberTozer
@AmberTozer
over 10 years ago
When you're about to tell them that last night was fun but you don't want a relationship right now
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
So you preach the word? On Twitter we call that "stealing tweets" but we do it from different accounts rather than just God.
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Defrost means "to voluntarily wait salivating for longer than necessary" in microwave.
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
"So we're doing a porn spoof of The X-files. Let's nail that title, people." [two hours later] "Uhm... Can we have some czechs in it?"
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Deinfe "obsolete".
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Cool expression, but can you tell me about the 21 first catches? Are there any more?! JEEZ KNOW SOMETHING BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR FACE HOLE!
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
"You are the light of my life" I say opening my fridge.
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Hold it right there. You need to fill out this eye contact form first.
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
Me: I have three things to do but only time for one. Brain: Do no things. Me: (sighing with obviously feigned reluctancy) OK then...
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
[on the phone with customer services] So what would the fee for shipping only be? I'm planning to do all the handling myself.
Travis Hampton
@TravisTweeting
over 10 years ago
I'd kinda like to bring back prohibition for just one weekend just to see what happens to Twitter.
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