Captain (Ret) Joslyn

SDVOSB | Retired Infantry Officer | Doing my best today, striving to be better tomorrow | Humor and Memes full send

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

Is everyone good?
Buddy check?

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@LeonardMJoyner Bald on top, bald on chin, guess that makes sense to me

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@ThatCheerMomOfX I don’t use a case anymore

Haven’t broken a screen in three or four years now, it do get scratches though

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@AverageSizeAndy Who ejaculated him?

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

Groomers didn’t have an opening for two weeks, so buzz cut it is

We on break number 2 for Zeus
I’ll keep whomever updated for giggles

Zeus is portly or chonky

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

I should not be getting this many political text messages on my phone

I can only reply, fuck off, so many times

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@_Deerest_ And the second time? You know there’s gonna be a 2nd time

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@LuckyMcGee I hope they don’t bring that shit here, cause there’s a lot of Americans that’ll say no to that

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@CajunRacc @BudLightSadness The VA kindly gave me a percentage for restless leg syndrome
Somehow I’m doing a 5 miler every night

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@BudLightSadness Has somehow work my pillowcase off the pillow every single night

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@BudLightSadness The only way to go

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@joelgaines Kinda like a firefight, don’t run out of ammo, or things to say

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

Sometimes I’m smart, sometimes I’m stupid, but I’m never in between

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@dpattenjr Zippers do be evil sometimes

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

You ever get your junk twisted up down the wrong pants leg

Redistributing that shit to the proper pants leg is a chore in public

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@MrLeadslinger I mean, why not make it look like a beer can?

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@BudLightSadness Water cannons
Then there won’t be no firing, oh fires

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@RastaKittytwo Try not to pee your pants

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@BudLightSadness I read that is green beret casserole season

Now I really want some type of cook-off show with green berets and navy seals

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

@BudLightSadness Yup, and relative motion between the air molecules and the wing

Molecules, man, molecules

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

“I’ll take ‘dumb things I say’ for $500, Alex”

Geez, I wish

[Captain (Ret) Joslyn @TreyJoslyn]

I’m probably the smartest person from BFE who just sounds utterly dumb

“So, you are fluent in retard”

Oh yeah