LAURA-19

yah can’t bamboozle a bamboozler she/her/sure

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Hopping on here after a year of inactivity to announce my belief that it should be a federal crime to play Kesha before 9 am on weekdays.

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

I’m a professional at arriving to things early and then being late because I was drying my hair with the air vents on max power in the parking lot.

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

@caseyfeigh Savage

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Accidentally graduating a year early

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

*year

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Last week I found a tree stump that looked like a butt and it’s still the most exciting thing thats happened to me all month

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

I feel like instead of issuing social security numbers to babies when they’re born we should just start giving them email addresses

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Teaching adults is fun because instead of explaining why 5+5=10 you’re explaining what the difference is between an alcoholic and a habitual drunk and having them write sentences with both ESL for life baby

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

If you ever feel like you have odd credentials for something just know that I can claim a video recording of me playing PowerPoint karaoke and giving an impromptu presentation on “why bread should be discontinued” is being presented at an international scholarly conference.

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Ha ha it was literally for Justin’s class 😂

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

I made this for class and I’m just really proud of it and I sent it to my mom but she hasn’t said anything about it yet so here you go Twitter please affirm me

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Straightened my hair only to be reminded I look like Heath Ledger without my curls which is fine if you’re a male trying to attract females but doesn’t really work the other way around.

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

I vividly remember being 5 at the beach and seeing a sign saying “no dogs allowed” and yelling “no dogs! That’s a rip off. I’m gonna rip off that sign” so basically you’re either born with a comedy gold gene or you’re not theres no in between

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

DISCUSSION 👏 POSTS 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 ADEQUATE 👏 SUBSITITUES 👏FOR 👏 HUMAN 👏INTERACTION

[j? @jasosnm]

please retweet this so i can graduate college please I GOT ONE DAY PEOPLE HELP B00ST 😭😭😭

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Last year I felt spontaneous cuz I got a nose piercing and now this year I flew half way across the world to the Middle East on a whim and didn’t think anything of it THATS what we call character development folks

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

Who the heck was like let’s make a TV show about two brothers that build stuff and then have AN ENTIRE SUBPLOT about their PET PLATYPUS that is a SECRET AGENT and WHY IS IT SO GOOD

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

You don’t realize how sucky English is till you try to teach it. Like when do you use on/in? In the road, but on a bridge, but you can be on the road if it’s a trip, and your on your computer, but in school, at its on June 5th but in the future like WHAT

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

@DanePiece It’s literally just my life

[LAURA-19 @TrippyTrickett]

I just called the bank and to confirm my identity the rep asked if i had any loans but I thought she said drones and I was like um no I have a camera on my phone that sometimes I tape to a broom to get aerial shots but I don’t have a drone and the poor rep was like wut