James Porter

I've learned twitter bios let you use 160 characters. I've spent so long trimming things down to 140, I feel a new sense of freedom! How will I use all this spa

[James Porter @TruthTables]

@Enjolra I was once challenged to name six things Trump had done wrong as president.

Amazingly, my answer of "Muslim bans one through six" was accepted as valid, even though each ban was itself so many errors that I had clearly overshot the goal

[James Porter @TruthTables]

This actually looks really cool and I think I want to try building one myself
https://t.co/4lJJ4mjDA9

[James Porter @TruthTables]

It's Father's Day, so I'm gonna dispense some fatherly advice to the guys (and I'm defining "guys" here as anyone who stands up to pee):

1. Finish up
2. Close the lid
3. Flush

IN THAT ORDER.

[James Porter @TruthTables]

People who believe strongly in creating the "proper incentives" in order to make others do useful work:
Kidnappers
Blackmailers
Mobsters
Despots
...
https://t.co/ct96vwpMnm

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Summer Solstice 2018: I'm gonna be the longest day of the year!!! :D :D :D

Election Day 2018: Hold my beer

[James Porter @TruthTables]

I'm a bad man who hates fun.

[James Porter @TruthTables]

In light of the current spate of school shootings AND the horrifying economic inequality in this country, I just don't even know who to root for: https://t.co/kKZywcLDdm

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Good reminder. https://t.co/Pvte6CPWuC

[James Porter @TruthTables]

I just had to pay my web hosting bill, so I figured I may as well do something with it. https://t.co/J4Jej5OQkd

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Hear hear! https://t.co/SbKO2hY8mC

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Just got a "Welcome Package" from LifeLock.

I have never contacted LifeLock or shown any interest in their services.

That's a good sign for trusting them to protect my personal data, right?

[James Porter @TruthTables]

@kateleth In the South, this is the other usage of "Bless your heart!"

The primary use is still "FU", though.

[James Porter @TruthTables]

@Enjolra @kumailn Happy Days... Buffy... even Scrubs. It's always sad to see a show go one for one season too many.

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Michigan weather is poetic.
"Ah, April, when the snow falls gently thro' the
um
bright, shining sun, whose rays
er
are diffused by the clouds which slowly
wtf
I guess gale winds can
OH FOR GOD'S SAKE"

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Shout out to the UN for funding the best site I've ever seen for statistics about the interactions of guns and societies! https://t.co/E0twUH66qR

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Romantic love: "Let me stare deeply into your eyes"
Parental love: "Let me stare deeply into your ears and nostrils"

[James Porter @TruthTables]

The NRA seems pretty upset that teens
a) are talking about gun laws, and
b) can't go buy guns at this one store anymore

[James Porter @TruthTables]

Michigan legislators: "English, being an obviously superior language, should be the official tongue of our state."
Also Michigan legislators: "Don't use certain English words." https://t.co/ZXvfFiMnwi

[James Porter @TruthTables]

@dcorsetto This issue needs a resolution that is both precise and decisive.

[James Porter @TruthTables]

I've said it before, and chances are I'll have plenty of reason to say it again: the "good guy with a gun" narrative is an insult to the memory of Chris Kyle. https://t.co/30jklpPea0