Tuna Ketchup

Not unlike the Chris Gaines version of “Purple People Eater”

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

Oh man, @SherylCrow must be rolling in her grave right now...

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

Pretty sure that’s Benjamin Jason Barnes

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@Action_Jeans Rivers of sizzurp

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

Overheard at the grocery store:

What’s a botanist?

A botanist is a person who takes your blood.

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

They’re just gonna keep making a Rebecca Black redemption piece every four years, aren’t they?

@MsRebeccaBlack

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@___Jamie It was probably 1992 when they played Eisenhower middle school. I thought I was the funniest 7th grader on earth repeatedly requesting “I Shot the Sheriff”

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@iampagu My issue with the space golf courses take up is there are millions of homeless in this country who could use that space to just survive.

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

🙌💁🏻‍♀️

[Phil Hendrie @realphilhendrie]

Golf sucks. Retweet and share over multiple platforms and in news sites’ comment sections as well as letters to the President if you agree.

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@iampagu Oh the carts are dope as hell my man

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@realphilhendrie This tweet was a regular nail biter

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@program_working So I can leave once the miracle happens. Okay, cool.

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

Rarely have I so deeply related with a tweet

[high wasted genes @Action_Jeans]

My favorite thing about tool is how they got their fans to wear shirts that say “tool”

[Phil Hendrie @realphilhendrie]

The real question... for the ages... is why Pence never figured out, until he was almost assassinated, just what a traitor and scum sucking dog Trump actually is

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@Action_Jeans That’s so weird. I just watched them do one of those incredibly passionless “quarantine jam” videos where each band member is at his house but it was “little miss can’t be wrong” but yeah same emotional response

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@josh_um_clark 1894: A Space Odyssey

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@Action_Jeans @realDonaldTrump Might as well disallow him from being pissed on by hookers in a room full of meth smoke

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

Sorry, @realDonaldTrump but Americans are just ready to go back to vaguely resenting our leadership in a non-specific way.

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@Action_Jeans @realDonaldTrump This is still the funniest shit

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@Action_Jeans Moans “...well, actually,” upon climax.

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@Action_Jeans “This is just like in Infinite Jest,” remarked Hawley, “you are being so Wallacearian.”

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

If you can read this you are not the President of the United States because that dumb fuck got permanently removed from this cesspool.

[Tuna Ketchup @TunaCatsup]

@TheRealDratch It was also nice that the jackasses “objecting” to the count weren’t the main story, I guess?