Tuna Tinkles

My life is based on actual events that I can't remember // some kind of half-assed artist

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

I’m “age is just a number” years old. Also, my hip hurts.

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

You have a weird butthole.

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

White vinegar and feces to remove deodorant stains

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Men want to be spiders until you ask them to make a web

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

I was injured injury duty

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

At what age do you start liking liver and onions

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Hotdog eating contest but it’s glue sticks.

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Deleting emails makes me feel useful

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

What if we kissed on the elliptical machine?

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Don’t forget to waste your life.

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Can’t say enough about silence

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Who wants to touch my neighbors curled toenails?

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Why can’t I pay for a cup of soda but substitute Taco Bell taco meat instead of soda!?!?! This is America!

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Judgement Day is a National Holiday, right?

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Don’t make me do the laundry. You wouldn’t like me when I do the laundry.

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

I’m sorry I was bitter in a past life

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Don’t forget to water your AI

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

On other planets you don’t have to return the shopping cart

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

Victor and your mama

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

FCC vs KFC

[Tuna Tinkles @TunaTinkles]

I can corroborate my story, your honor