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[Pete Thamel @PeteThamel]

Sources: Florida has targeted Louisiana’s Billy Napier as the school’s next coach. An announcement could come as early as this afternoon.

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@Blue_OrangeG8r Next one to Tony Livingston

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@BillyM_91 Worst use of blockers I’ve ever seen

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@ITweetDinners There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see

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@moseskagan Data > get data from file > select saved OM.PDF > select page(s)

Autopopulates a table. Might need to do some slight formatting cleanup.

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@FINALLEVEL Ice! You’re on a roll today!😹

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@FINALLEVEL Ice! Classic! Ur crazy😜

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@holygroundsound Please explain targeting. Such a ticky tacky call imo

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Jesus Christ. buddy dropped a tutorial on how to hug a woman and it got 2,500 bookmarks.

[Mub🐝 @mubbywub]

- to get their torso wrapped comfy and snug
- optimal sneaky boob contact
- to feel your flexing upper arms/shoulders/traps/pecs/upper back
- to get closer to your face
- open to the possibility of getting picked up and feeling weightless
- vulnerable position of exposed weak points and a minor loss of control which a man can supplement with a sense of security/stability (i.e. “getting lost in your arms”)

there’s plenty more reasons why a woman would prefer to be the upper half of a hug, but these are retroactive justifications for what naturally feels right to them.

women will often occupy the lower half of a hug with very tall people or parental figures. they also prefer being the lower half in a laying position as they can rest their head on you.

as a man, you can engineer a truly innocent hug that makes them feel all melty and calm. i highly recommend working on it as you can provide emotional support without having to improve your emotional intelligence.

i was about to make this short and sweet but i will bless you NOOB autists with a free lesson from a seasoned autist

tips to ensure a hug is warm, innocent and safe:
- avoid all contact crotch and below (you can do this by leaning forward slightly)
- do not stroke anywhere below the middle of their back. just keep your hand in place.
- do not touch anywhere below the middle of the inward arc of the lower back.
- gentle stroking of upper/middle back is permissible. that’s where most of their daily stress is.
- if you want to make the hug more intimate, wrap your fingers up over their shoulder and squeeze gently.
- palms and fingers remain flat and wide, maximal surface coverage, gentle pressure. completely avoid tickling movements.
- keep your core steady, hold firm but not too tight, do not rub bodies. maintain stasis.
- pick them up slightly, this will alleviate the weight of their existence and decompress their lower back/legs.
- crane your neck forward and make sure your ears are PAST her ears. you can rest your jaw on her shoulder. This will avoid overstimulating a woman’s sensitive ears and neck.
- this hug will sink in within 5 seconds. GENTLY start removing the pressure and disengaging after this point, unless she holds on tight, then resume the hug. feel free to adjust your hands and body a little while re-engaging.
- gently start disengaging again after 5 more seconds. this is usually the farthest it will go.
- if she still holds on tight, then keep hugging until she lets go herself. this could go for minutes if she trusts you and/or is touch starved. feel free to gently stroke her upper back and shoulders during this time.

practice with your mother or aunt or any trusted woman

there’s more but i can’t think of them atm.

this is a tried and true guide to a warm and comforting hug that can even put stressed children at ease and give life to the elderly.

DO NOT ABUSE THIS FOR CHEAP OXYTOCIN GENERATION.

DO NOT EXPLOIT MENTALLY ILL WOMEN WITH THIS METHOD.

DO NOT FORCE THIS HUG ON UNWILLING PARTICIPANTS. IT CAN BACKFIRE.

LIMIT THIS TO THRICE A WEEK MAX TO MAINTAIN EFFECTIVENESS.

i wish you bastards a less touch starved existence.

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@Allegiant how do you feel about people who go barefoot on the plane. Wild behavior imo

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@DontTakeNoShit4 🔒 it’s free money

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Guy’s gotta be pullin 200k/yr. Shooting fish in a barrel out here

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First time in Costco. Gotta be close to the record for most free samples eaten

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@ThoughtChef

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@ThoughtChef The reason they lost contact was prob cuz the sub failed and they got crushed instantly like 2 days ago

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@pjyallof

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@ITweetDinners 14hr smoke. Finished in the oven because it wouldn’t get over 200 internal

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@ITweetDinners please rate
Not pictured: cole’s slaw