The lowest hell is getting everything you begged for, and waking inside it, and seeing you begged for the poisoned things, and God knew, and gave it anyway
The long road is not punishment, its a gift. and if you cant see that yet, its because you are still the same whiny creature who prayed for God to teleport you out of egypt. God said no, i am going to make you walk. and you cry about it like its some injustice. it is not. the desert is not your enemy, you are your enemy. you want to arrive at canaan as the same person who ate the bread of slavery. you want to be free and also not change. pick one. that is not how this works. God is not going to drag your bitter half formed soul into a promised land, it would spoil the milk and spoil the honey, and you would wreck it within a year because you are not ready. so he walks you until the readiness is not something you aspire to, it is something you are forged into. the sand in your teeth is teaching you. the thirst is teaching you. the rations are building someone who can receive a promise without choking on it. stop asking od to rescue you from the only process that will actually save you. blessed are those who walk it without cursing the sand, for every grain grinds a slave into a son