Tyler Maron

Co-host of Divided By Zero (@DB0_Podcast). Former child. Lead singer of Creed.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

@ComedyCentral @PFTompkins Is a perfect choice for your network. Please proceed!

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

REQUEST @nerdist Do you think you are capable of getting a chess master on your show? I think a decent number of people would enjoy it.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

The should change the name from "snooz" button to "meditate" button, so I feel better.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

@BillQuackenbush that shit is doooppppe!

[Divided By Zero @DB0_Podcast]

We went to a party at Chillian Thomas' house and this girl made us this shirt. @TylerMaron #BobMarbles

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

"Butt dialing" can happen anytime. "Penis dialing" is saved for a special time of night.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

@BillQuackenbush Sure! Db is for the birds anyways.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

@ChillianThomas Good set tonight, come back to the in a time!

[Lady Envy @LadyEnvy_DB0]

Do It Yourself Surgery! @TylerMaron as my surgeon this evening.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

Instead when God sent down the commandment tablets, if he really wanted to impress us he should have sent them down on IPads.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

@IdealNihilist @DB0_Podcast I doughnut understand. Eye do not understand. I do not stand under stick your penis in the heat of the night.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

The world would be different if it was not strange to look at people.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

Never understood how spelling things incorrectly became kool. Spelling is the least kool subject.

[Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins]

No matter how successful a comic, morning broadcasters of any media will still treat that comic like trash. http://t.co/bx8lVMZBoz

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

@SorryKansas says things too! On a show that you can hear! New episode they say things about us. How about that! Listen.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

This is where @_masters sleeps.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

Trucks have no choice but to be the jesus of merging.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

@The40YearOldBoy @_masters said you had propel and asbestos in your rider. Blame your manager for that. We had it imported from Peru.

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

Who would've won in a fight: the foot soldiers, the puddies, or Al Qaeda? #tmnt

[Tyler Maron @TylerMaron]

Was Donatello the "black" one? #tmnt