UK Cop Humour

Simply trying to show the human side of our fantastic Police Officers & raise a bit of money for good causes whilst we're at it! RT's are not an endorsement.

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗻 𝗔 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 🚁
Banned 19-year-old in a Porsche Cayenne, a stinger, then a helicopter that kept tracking him from above.

Video and source: @EssexPoliceUK. NPAS footage © NPAS c/o West Yorkshire Combined Authority 2026 @NPAShq

#Basildon

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗣𝘂𝗿𝗹 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 🧶
Hi-vis, speed guns, zero fines: a Warwickshire village's knitted traffic team is out to slow drivers down.

The Knit and Natter group says drivers are braking. Woolly, but watchful.

[Source: BBC News Coventry & Warwickshire]

#RoadSafety

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗔𝘄𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 🧱
From brick to nick in 33 mins.

Two Lego sets, Smyths Toys, Mansfield, 3.09pm. Tracked on council CCTV, arrested 3.42pm.

David Ward, 44, of no fixed address, was jailed for 16 weeks.

[Source: Nottinghamshire Police]

#ShopTheft

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆? 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗔 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗕𝗮𝗿? 🍫

A chocolate bar, a mate asking "Really?", and West Midlands Police's new schools film shows where it could lead: REJECTED, ENTRY DENIED, a cell door. Small choices, big consequences.

[Credit: @WMPolice]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗙𝗶𝘀𝗵𝘆 𝗢𝗻 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘁𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱'𝘀 𝗥𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 🐟

Operation Salmo: police and river bailiffs on patrol against fish poaching. Planning an illegal catch? You might be the one who gets hooked. Report: 101 or Crimestoppers.

[Credit: @PoliceScotland]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗲, 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗵, 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🕵️

"Come on Tyrone, let's go." PC Max Kelly turned one shouted name into a match on doorbell footage, then spotted him on a bench. 3 years 2 months for the Lewisham burglary.

[Credit: @metpoliceuk]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗩𝗼𝗹𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 ⚡

Reported cable cutting at Scotch Corner, 140mph+ up the A1(M), helicopter overhead, hedgerow finish in County Durham. Nobody hurt. Two men arrested on suspicion of offences including theft.

[Credit: @NYorksPolice]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗡𝗼 𝗦𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝘀 𝗔 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 💙

A Notts officer was shot in the foot early on Sunday. He's stable, and we wish him a full and swift recovery. Any officer, any shift.

Info: 101, incident 106 of 18 Oct.

Stay safe out there and look after each other.

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

The Big Bad Wolf got sentenced. Now the witches are in the dock 🧙‍♀️⚖️ Kids put their grown-ups on trial at the Lock-Up, Birmingham, 28 to 30 Oct, 11am and 1pm. Included with museum entry. https://t.co/VKcqEiyHNg [Credit: @WMPHistory]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

£1.20 of carrier bags. Repaid. Clean service record. Unpaid volunteer. Dismissed and on the barred list. A hearing found he knowingly didn't pay: "This is theft." He said it was inadvertent. Is "starting point: dismissal" fair for £1.20? Source: West Mercia Police findings

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

Wanted for around a month. Then he tried to outrun a Newark response officer 🏃‍♂️ Arrested for theft in rapid time, linked to 14 other burglary or theft offences, now jailed for five years and five months in total. Fleet footed indeed 👏 [Credit: @nottspolice] #UKCopHumour

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

Over 3 hours into the search for a vulnerable missing woman, PD Ike got to work 🐾 His free search became a track, through dense woodland and down a steep embankment, where he found her unable to get up. Now safely located. What a hero, Ike! [Credit: @MerPolDogs] #UKCopHumour

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

AI has a lot to answer for. When this picture of a Cheshire Police car on rising bollards in Chester did the rounds, plenty of people were convinced it was AI until the force confirmed it. You can't even perch a panda on top of mechanical bollards without someone shouting "mOrE aI sLoP" 🐼 No one was hurt, and Cheshire Police said at the time that enquiries were ongoing. [Credit: Laura Jones]

#UKCopHumour #Chester #CheshirePolice #Bollards

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

Public: "You should be catching REAL criminals!"

Also the public:

✅ Reports neighbour's hedge being 3 inches too tall
✅ Calls 999 because McDonald's forgot the dips
✅ Wants police to settle a Facebook argument

Add one to the list 👇

#UKCH

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗗𝗲𝗹𝘁𝗮 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻

Police dog Delta is retiring. COP26, Firearms Support Dog, and he helped find a high-risk missing woman who needed life-saving care. His commendations needed extra fridge space. Top dog, officially. 🐾

[Credit: @aspolice]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗪𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗟𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆? 🦁

End of four nights: lion 6, that stare.
Rest day: lion 1, do not disturb.

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗜𝘁 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗢𝘂𝘁 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗮𝘀𝗵
When the floordrobe starts breathing. 👀
PC Caitlin Harding said "officers were not fooled". The man underneath, wanted for a serious assault, has been jailed for three years and one month.
[Credit: @kent_police]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗥𝗮𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗢𝗳 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗰
Press a fob hidden in a sponge and up rises a secret shelf. Underneath: 479 packets of ciggies. Holy smoke, Barnoldswick. 🧽
Three-month closure order. That stash has gone up in smoke.
[Credit: @lancspolice]

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 🐾

Why we have police dogs but not police cats: dogs chase suspects, cats just judge them.

A dog brings back the stolen goods. A cat brings back a dead pigeon and calls it evidence.

Claw enforcement. All attitude, no paperwork.

[UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour]

𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱: 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗔𝘁 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝘀𝘁?

A panel found the Essex sergeant was properly on duty as the on-call Fed rep and entitled to the overtime. Our take: a gross misconduct finding can end a career. All that over an overtime claim? ⚖️

[Credit: @EssexPoliceUK]