United Nations

Official fake twitter account of the UN. Get the latest information on every war and genocide we fail to stop.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

Peace in the middle east for us means the freedom of rocket transports to and from Gaza by Hamas.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

If Israel does not recognize the right of Palestine to exist then these pace talks are doomed for failure again, and it's Israel's fault!

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

The only pre-condition for peace talks should be that Israel must recognize the right of Palestine to exist.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

At the UN, our definition of terrorism is like pornography. We can't define it, but we know it when we see it.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

The nations of the world can not allow Israel to develop Nuclear Weapons. Israel must be stopped at all costs.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

It is becoming ever more clear to us that Israel continues to present a clear and present danger to world peace.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

We'd gladly pass a resolution condemning the fires in Russia but our European continental reserve of paper has been burned.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

Women in Iran have more freedom than women do in Prison. Now that's what we here at the UN consider an epic milestone.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

U.N. Elects Iran to Commission on Women's Rights. There is no greater defender of Women's Rights than Iran.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

Working a resolution to condemn Israel for not stopping the rockets that hit Jordan. Israel should know better that Hamas can not aim.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

We are investigating the reports of rockets fired into Jordan. Israel is presumed to be the perpetrator.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

Objectivity and discovering the facts has no place at the UN.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

Aquaman vs. UN? Aquaman wins by virtue of UN's impotence.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

We have updated our logo to reflect our new identity. View our official twitter page www.twitter.com/UNGlobalPR and provide feedback.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

We are excited about the new color of the iPhone. Then again, we are attracted to shiny objects of value when accepting bribes.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

We have never actually stopped a massacre or genocide, but we do have endless debate about them. Isn't that better than nothing?

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

Thus Aquaman would win by default. Yes, there is at least one entity in this world more impotent than Aquaman, and that entity is your UN.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

In a fight between the UN and Aquaman, we would endlessly debate about deploying peacekeepers against Aquaman but never actually do it.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

At the UN we strongly believe in passionate engagement through the use of heightened language. Words can do what weapons can't: nothing.

[United Nations @UNGlobalPR]

Some our most proud human rights violators Cuba, Sudan, Syria and Zimbabwe — consistently vote against Human Rights motions.