urlpartlow

writer, music producer, occasional watercolor painter.

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

I like bald bitches, that's my fuckin problem.

[Oatmeal Hands @OatmealHands]

(Guy on trial for illegal downloads.)
"Good luck pirating in prison."
"Shiver me timbers?"
"You are an embarrassment."
(Hits gavel.)

[Oatmeal Hands @OatmealHands]

"I'm trying to diversify my portfolio."
*opens manila folder filled with copies of Now 11*

[Oatmeal Hands @OatmealHands]

"You hot?"
*shrugs shoulders*
"Cold?"
*shrugs again*
"Just right?"
*transforms into stealth bomber*

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

Crazy to think that kids born in 2001 have linked together to form one huge mega teen & are roaming Yellowstone national park killing bison

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

CBS news report on opioid addiction partially sponsored by a drug to help you shit when you're on opioids. What a world we live in.

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

"Did you know that if u get a boner & spin around super fast u can fly like a helicopter"
[date isn't even fully in the car yet]

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

@timheidecker Well I do declare!

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass"
[votes Trump]

[Matt @ProdigousG]

@Clayster @URLisEarl sounds like ass

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

new one for ya:

https://t.co/KyeZpMlxIE

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

@_youngblo_od Well isn't that lovely!

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

@_youngblo_od I trust you didn't tag #milf or anything of this nature?

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

a thing i'm doing https://t.co/7QQlCrFjDn

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

She's back in action. Expect the heaviest music I've ever made realllll soon. I haven't played guitar… https://t.co/SPnRAWAIQS

[Best TikToks @TheFunnyVines]

"How's your school year going?" https://t.co/cMYGCij6ls

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

I look at this a lot. https://t.co/xnMjiHBpwg

[urlpartlow @URLisEarl]

happy friday, friends. here's some brand new music. got my buddy sito to put a nice hook in the second half. enjoy.

https://t.co/7zdV1Tff4y